


The Seas Be Ours

by Prrrrmm



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Pirate, F/F, F/M, M/M, Ocean Mythology, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sassy Neil Josten, aaron is respected and given the chance to grow in this house, cigarillos are honestly like the old fashioned cigarettes but skinnier, in which there is a journal and lots of decoding to do with said journal, kevin x his sword tbh, scurvy is no fun and will be shunned for the rest of the ship ride, some in depth injury stuff??, we hopefully learn some historical pirate stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2019-07-07 23:15:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15918231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prrrrmm/pseuds/Prrrrmm
Summary: Andrews eyes were much too bright in the darkness and Neil fought the urge to look away from him. “Who are you?”“I’m no one important,” Neil replied watching the glow of Andrews cigarillo cast strange shadows on his face.“Says the man who shows up with a journal leading the way to something straight out of a child’s tale. And yet you managed to convince not only Captain, but Kevin as well. I’m interested, sue me.”Snorting, Neil leaned against the railing letting the ocean stay at his back as he stared at Andrew. “You have nothing for me to take,” he said.“Not true, I can offer you protection,” Andrew replied and after taking another drag, blew the smoke in Neil’s face.Blinking, he mulled the words over. “What makes you think I need protecting?” He waved a hand around the empty deck and then behind him in a vague motion, “What here is going to harm me other than you?”Andrew bared his teeth at that and stubbed out his cigarillo. “Harm me or mine and that is the only reason I would hurt you. I’m offering to make you mine and I won’t ask again.”





	1. Initiis Incerta

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOw, okay hello! So normally I write for Final Fantasy XV but this is my first Foxhole fic! The premise of this story though is nearly 6 years old and originally was written for some OC's back in highschool, this poor story was over a hundred pages. Since I'm basically just taking that story plot and tweaking it for the Foxes it's going to be LONG! Chapter title is the latin words, Uncertain Beginnings. To anyone who read this before and is coming back, you may have noticed it changed! I usually use song lyrics for my chapter titles but decided to change it up this time!  
> Regardless, I hope y'all enjoy! Thank you to the best beta in the whole world, MILS!!!

“Don’t stop running, don’t trust any one and never, ever go on a boat. Do you understand me? If your father catches you - if he takes the book - everything I have worked for will be for nothing.” 

Words to live by and yet, whenever he dreamt they seemed to have no meaning for Neil. In his dreams he knew them, but always his subconscious self had thrown these words to the wind and in return everything his mother had warned would happen, did. 

It always began with the rhythmic thumping of thick boots coming down the stairs and the soft scratch of a cleaver on wood as his father dragged it along the walls. Those steady steps were at war with the erratic beating of Neil’s heart - it’s frantic chant of  _ run, run, run _ loud in his ears. Strangely, Neil was never afraid of his impending doom, but rather of what he was leaving behind. In the mornings when Neil allowed himself to pick apart his dream, this was always the part which never made sense to him. He was no one, what could he possibly leave behind? 

Long before the footsteps reached him in the surrounding pitch black, there was a puff of laughter against his ear and no matter how many times he dreamt this he would flinch, jerking away from the person at his back like he had been burnt. Once he opened his eyes in his dream, the last things he would see were blue eyes burning into his mind and a smile which only promised pain.

Every time Neil woke to a new dawn he wasn’t sure if he was pleasantly surprised or angry at the world for making him continue on. If it was anger, it never lasted past his second breath.There had been too much sacrifice to throw his life away and for once he had someone depending on him and only him. He couldn’t fail her. 

Rubbing the last vestiges of his dream from his eyes, Neil sighed and pushed himself out of the alley he had ducked into the night before. It wasn’t safe, but if he went into the inn with blood on his clothes again he was afraid the owner would start asking questions he didn’t know how to duck out of. She seemed the type to find strays and give them homes - which he supposed anyone other than him would be grateful for. 

Before he could make his way to the boats moored in the harbor, he needed to take a mental stock of his wounds first. Neil’s smaller cuts from the fight were healing slowly, but it was the one on his shoulder that needed to be cleaned and taken care of before he could do anything else. No one was going to let a dirty, bleeding kid on their boat and without his mother by his side, there was no one to help stitch him up. The most he could do was change out the bandages and attempt to keep it clean. 

Skirting around the busiest areas of the town, he ducked into side roads and alleyways until he found a bucket filled with the previous day’s rain. Dragging it further away from the road, Neil cast a quick look around before opening his bag and grabbing the rags made of a less fortunate shirt. He made quick work of dipping one into the water to roughly clean his face and hair. It wasn’t as effective as he wanted it to be, but he had long since resigned himself to never being truly clean again. Cleaning his shoulder would have to be done carefully and gently to avoid making it bleed again. 

The cut was long, but thankfully shallow beside the junction of his neck and shoulder, trailing down his shoulder blade. It had been a cheap shot when his back was turned, but Neil didn’t suppose his father’s people really cared how his life was taken so long as it was done. With his adrenaline running high, he hadn’t even heard the man sneaking up on him as he tended to his wounded mother, but he definitely felt the air whoosh past his head a split second before searing pain gripped him. They managed to escape, barely, but as the night wore on Neil realized something was horribly wrong with his mother - her gasping breaths and faltering steps screaming the truth no matter what reassurance she grit out. Which was why he had - 

His thoughts were interrupted by a sound at the end of the alley and Neil’s head whipped towards it as he threw on a shirt, grimacing when he realized it was his last clean one. As he silently packed up the rest of his belongings - few as they were - Neil kept an eye on the stretch of alley he could see. The singular scuff he heard became heavy footsteps and without hesitation, he took off down the path back into the open streets. It could have been someone taking a shortcut on their way to the marketplace, but Neil wasn’t taking any chances. He needed to leave this town as soon as possible, he had been there too long already. Hurrying back to the pier he had camped out by the night before, he resisted the urge to check behind him. His goal was to stay unnoticed and not be remembered by people as the twitchy young man who was constantly looking over his shoulder.

A yawn forced its way out as he made it to his first merchant ship. Approaching the captain of the ship put lead in his stomach and to hide his shaking nerves he gripped his bag to him tightly. His mother's voice was in his mind snarling  _ never get on a boat, _ but there was no other way to save her. He sidled up beside the man, plastering on the smile he gave people when they began to ask questions they didn’t need to be asking.

It didn’t take long to quickly explain he had a letter from a man in Palmetto who wanted to take him on as an apprentice. The captain was a cheerful man by the name of Hernandez who was just young enough to help settle some of Neil’s fears and when he explained he could pay his way, the merchant readily agreed to take him to his destination.

Hernandez’s eyes traveled the length of Neil’s body, stopping at the cut peeking from the collar and narrowing, his good cheer gone in an instant. Neil cursed whoever decided to go down his alleyway when they did and vowed to bandage the cut the second he was alone. 

“Are you okay?” Hernandez asked, his voice a calm quiet as if approaching a skittish animal. Neil  _ hated _ when people did that to him - treated him like he was was liable to fold under any pressure, like he had gotten his scars without a fight. He was a runner, not a coward. It wasn’t a big difference, but there was one. Cowards ran without a fight, while runners only ran when there was nothing else they could do. 

Keeping his smile firmly in place despite the sudden flare of irritation, Neil gripped his bag tighter. “I’m fine. A small accident on my uncle’s farm happened right before I left. I have bandages, just need to let it air out a bit.” It was a terrible lie and normally he would have come up with something better, but he hadn’t slept more than three hours and was in just enough pain to make thinking fuzzy. Thankfully, Hernandez seemed to accept it and his smile was back just as quickly.

“Have you ever been on a ship before?” he asked next as his crew began the trek up the plank. 

Shaking his head, Neil kept his eyes down in the hopes no one would recognize him. “No sir,” he lied.

Humming quietly, Hernandez said, “Oh well, maybe you can learn a few things while your on board with us! Come, let’s go ahead and get you settled in.”

The first mate was quick to show him around, but Neil was too jittery to pay full attention. Thankfully everything the man was happily explaining were things he already knew. If needed, he could have ran this ship in his sleep. When it was time to cast off, he held his breath and clutched the railing as the first mate cheerfully patted him on his back. “It’s only a week long journey and I’m sure your new master will let you come home for a visit soon!”

Neil focused on keeping a tight lid on his rising panic, doing his best to breath like his mother had taught him and gripping his hair tightly as his one chance of illusioned safety grew further and further away. He would do this, he  _ had _ to do this - to save his mother he would sacrifice everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh I hope you guys liked it and like I said, there's so much to come!! This first chapter was a little short but the rest should be much longer! I have the entire story planned out it's just going to take some time to actually... get.. it all down. Next chapter we meet some of the foxes and find out a little more about the book that was mentioned!


	2. Auribus Teneo Vulpes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forwards is always harder, but with that as his only option Neil is forced to do something he never thought he would do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh thank you guys so much for your kudos and comments!! It means the world to me that you guys like this crazy weird au lol Anyways, thank you as always to my bff 5ever and best beta in the world, Mils! Special thanks to Ted and Angie too, y'all keep me sane and make me feel so loved <33333  
> The chapter title means to hold a fox by the ears!  
> The phrase "holding a wolf by the ears," was a popular proverb in Ancient Rome. Like "holding a tiger by the tail," it is used to describe an unsustainable situation, and in particular one in which both doing nothing and doing something to resolve it are equally risky. Basically, you’re damned if you do damned if you don’t. I changed Lupem to Vulpes to reflect the foxes. If you would like a cool article (or just resource for all things Latin!) here’s where I love to go : https://www.latinitium.com/latinproverbs/auribus-teneo-lupum

It was on the last day on Hernandez’s ship that Neil finally let himself enjoy the dawn stretching forever across the horizon. After they had set sail, he’d sequestered himself below deck to help in the kitchen. When night fell, and he felt it was safe enough, he would creep back up while the rest of the crew slept. The sky freckled with stars was everything he remembered from his childhood standing on his father's ship - a feeling which never failed to send a shiver down his back - but dawn was something new, something beautiful.

With a life on the run it was hard to take the time to realize when something was worth a second glance. On the last day, he felt called to look over his shoulder before ducking down the stairs to the kitchen and a soft, "Oh," was out of his mouth before he could stop it. He hadn’t even realized he had walked back to the railing until he was gripping it like letting go would kill him. Where before there had only been inky blackness, now it was as if someone had dipped a brush in the brightest yellow paint they could find and drug it across the horizon in lazy strokes. It was fire, burning with fingers reaching high above to turn everything it touched into pinks and oranges, chasing away the night with the promise of a new day at sea. 

Once upon a time, this could have been his life - to see this view every day, to work and live on the ocean - but no, he knew what would have happened if they had stayed in Baltimore. With the sea in his lungs and the wind in his hair, he didn’t want to leave again. Neil comforted himself with the knowledge that with hope he would be on another boat and getting closer to his goal by the end of the next day.

An hour later Hernandez found him watching the approaching land close off the ocean. It was for the best and he couldn’t look away, but it made him sick to watch. Neil hated to see the sea as anything but endless. The quicker he was off the ship, the safer everyone on board would be and the safer he would be too. Hernandez stood at his side and enjoyed the quiet with him until his first mate came with a million questions and a blinding smile. Instead of hiding out in the kitchen again, Neil stayed on deck, taking in burning lungfuls of salty air. If Hernandez thought it was strange, he didn’t ask any questions and Neil didn’t offer any answers.

Once they’d docked, he said hasty goodbyes with an excuse of meeting his new master at the inn to set out that day - a lie which meant he would have to avoid any place Hernandez and his crew might be for as long as they were there. Finding the inn wasn’t hard and he dropped coins into the innkeeper’s hand before heading up the stairs to his room. Locking the door and shoving a chair under the handle made him feel better, but he never felt completely safe. Before Neil slept, he opened the window enough for him to wrench it open the rest of the way with ease if he needed a quick escape. He collapsed on his bed still dressed, and Neil fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

Morning found him hurrying towards the port, sneaking past Hernandez's ship. He kept an eye on the ones too quiet for his liking, as those were not ones to deal with. His mom had told him if a ship had no captain by it, it was to be avoided at all costs as any ship quiet and without anyone near or on it was most likely not a law abiding group. All ships were to be avoided, but those especially. The respectable ships, the ones with the captains already waiting for their crew, were the ones Neil needed.

Unfortunately, the good luck he had with Hernandez back in Millport seemed to have run out, as no one was willing to take him on board. The reasons were boundless - no room, not enough food to last with an extra mouth to feed, his story wasn’t plausible enough, he didn’t offer enough money. He could have switched up his story, but it was a comfortable lie, one he could back up with the forged letter in his bag to prove he had a master waiting for him.

Neil supposed he should be grateful his hunger pains were stronger than his growing frustration since it kept a tight lid on his anger. Eating came before all other things - taking care of himself was of the utmost importance since falling ill or being weak was a death sentence. Realizing he hadn't eaten since he stepped off the ship the day before, Neil made his way to the tavern. He had bought food from the market stalls earlier in the day, but the thought of warm food was irresistible. He was confident he was safe since Hernandez had left hours before.

Keeping a close eye on everyone, Neil tucked himself into a corner where he could watch the door. He gave wordless thanks when a barmaid dropped a drink at his table and categorized the patrons by threat level. It was his location that gave him a clear view of the table across the room where a handful of men dressed in mismatched clothes sat with an attitude that screamed mercenaries. Lip curling into his drink, Neil’s eyes locked onto them. Mercenaries were as bad as pirates in his opinion. One could never be trusted to remain loyal - not when there were always riches to line their pockets and a knife to stab in someone’s back. 

One of the men's voices carried, reaching Neil easily. “I don’t get why we have to leave tomorrow, the Foxhole isn’t even ready to sail yet. Going to Columbia this time of year sucks.”

The blonde beside him answered, though his voice did not carry as his companion’s did, and Neil looked away only to catch eyes with one of the other men. The tavern had dim lights in the smoky room, but he had no doubt the intensity the other man regarded him with was murderous. As someone used to people trying to kill him any chance they got, Neil was on his feet in an instant, bag in hand and drink forgotten in favor of getting away _ now _ .

His actions drew the attention of the fourth man and as he turned to face Neil, time slowed and a hundred years took place between one breath and the next.

Kevin Day was here.

Kevin Day should not be here.

Neil’s body locked up and his mind screamed RUN, but there was nothing aside from the erratic beating of his heart while the four men stared at him in varying degrees of interest. The blood left Neil’s face so fast the world tilted. Too many eyes on him, too exposed, too much all at once. 

When the man with the bored expression and murderous eyes called Kevin’s name in a carrying voice, Neil felt the spell break, and he took a stumbling step back before dashing through the door. Not even on the run with his mom had he ever run so fast. Neil didn’t think anyone was following him, but he hadn’t lived to be nineteen years old on assumptions. Ducking and weaving around people and buildings, he lead himself in a complicated dance back to the inn where he hid in his room. The panic of seeing Kevin again after eleven years refused to fade and even as he gripped his hair, he had trouble grounding himself. What would his mom say? What would his mom do in this situation?

Cursing his stupidity, Neil knew the answer already. Mary Hatford would not have let herself get into such a situation, but bits of conversation came back to him and by the time he fell into a fitful sleep, he had the basis of a very dangerous idea.

A few hours later he woke and slipped out the window to make his way back to the docks. Finding the Foxhole was easy, it was utterly conspicuous in the way it tried to be inconspicuous. It was also smaller than Hernandez's ship had been and much more modest, which meant it would be quicker in the water. After making sure the coast was clear, Neil darted up the gangplank and slipped into the shadows. He knew which places were checked if there was a reason to suspect a stowaway from listening in to sailors and he was debating the best way to make his way below deck when a voice behind him froze him on the spot.

“-always say that and yet you haven’t left anyone behind to date.” It was a woman’s voice, lilting up with barely contained laughter. Neil willed his frantically beating heart to slow and held his breath.

“Shut your mouth Wilds,” another voice said, this one unmistakably masculine and older. Pressing himself even closer to the ship walls, Neil held himself as still as he could.

As soon as they passed he would take off down the gangplank. This was too dangerous, even for someone like him. _ Stupid, stupid, who was he to think he could pull this off? _ Neil was so wrapped up in his thoughts he almost missed the man speak. “We’ll leave at first light - if Andrew requested it I wouldn’t argue. Check the storage hold and we’ll call it good, anyone on here is as good as a fox anyways.”

The two passed without even a glance in his direction, but Neil refused to relax - to relax now would be certain death. He weighed the pros and cons of staying and the advantages stacked up; this was the only ship he knew going in the direction he needed to be going, it seemed they only did a casual check for anything out of the usual, and best yet, they were leaving the next day.

The cons - being found, or worse, being discovered by his father.

Pro - he had the chance to save his mom.

That tipped the scale faster than anything else. Danger to his own life he knew, but a threat to his mom left him breathless and panicked. Neil scurried recklessly across the deck the second the two speakers had stepped into the officer’s quarters to duck through the hatch down the steps to the hold. 

Most ships were the same, if you had been on one you had been on them all. The only change was the crew and the condition of the ship itself. Finding a hiding spot was reasonably easy and in a corner hidden by crates and dusty tarps, Neil made himself at home. It would take almost a week and a half to reach Columbia from Palmetto and he wished he had thought to grab more food. His supplies would last a few days, but the thought of stealing from honorable people left a sour taste in his mouth. Without meaning to, he fell asleep with that thought in mind and dreamed of running.

A few hours later, he woke stiff and tense with fear as he tried to remember where he was. The pieces clicking into place did not help his fear dissipate at all. Above his head were quick footsteps as the crew came on board and settle in. It was heart-pounding, hearing them pass by where he hid, and although he was confident in his spot, Neil still held his breath as people loaded the cargo area with boxes and barrels, all too loud in their complaints and joking laughter.

If his mom were there, she would have told him to suck it up already. His worry was justified - if he were caught before they set sail, he could be reported to the officials and his eleven years of running would have been for nothing. It was another two hours of tense waiting before he heard the captain calling for cast off.

Shaking from relief, Neil allowed himself to relax into the small nest he had made for himself. In the fading light, Neil tugged out a small book bound in leather with a picture of a tree embossed in gold on the cover. This was something he never would have touched under any other circumstance, but here in his hands, it was almost as if it belonged. Looking at the book was easier than thinking of the way his mom had pressed it into his hands - her shaking breaths and too pale face.

The healing woman had given him a grave look and she had pulled him aside after his mom fell into a fitful sleep to tell him of the internal bleeding. Neil knew nothing about what that meant but he knew it was serious - had known it the second his mom had pressed the beautiful, cursed book into his hands. There was no way she would ever have given it up otherwise.

Trying not to think of her wasn't working. It only brought up memories of when he was a child - of when he had met Kevin for the first time and thinking about him wasn’t much better. He hoped he wouldn’t have to come face to face with him again. 

Rubbing his face, Neil shoved the book back in his bag. He’d been so lost in his thoughts, he hadn't realized it had fallen dark. Pushing himself from his hiding spot, Neil gave into recklessness for the second time that day and began the slow process of sneaking up to the deck. He paused in each doorway, waiting until he was sure each area was clear before making his way to the next. 

The deck was silent and the helmsman was either not in view or not there at all. Frowning, Neil decided to stay away from the surface until he was sure of the crew’s habits and snuck back down. Passing the kitchen hadn’t been part of his plan, but he saw a small sliver of light and curiosity won over caution. Two voices filtered out from inside, one a quiet female’s and, with a jolt, Neil realized the other voice belonged to the blond from the tavern. He cursed himself for being stupid - of course he would be on the ship. He had been so preoccupied with the act of sneaking on board and thoughts of Kevin that he had forgotten the very existence of the man who had struck a chord of fear in him the night before. 

By the tone of their voices, the conversation seemed friendly and Neil inched closer to hear better. He rationalized that he was only doing it to find out more about the man, but it fell flat and he had to admit he was curious about what they could be talking about. 

“You’re denying the possibility of sea creatures based on religion?” the man asked.

“I’m denying the possibility of sea creatures based on the fact I’ve been sailing for years and have never seen anything that could not be explained,” the woman replied.

Eyebrows furrowed, Neil turned on his heel and went back to his hiding place. Whatever he thought the man with eyes of a killer would be talking about, it wasn't fairy tales. Although Neil didn’t know who the girl was, he found himself agreeing with her. The only things in life he had ever seen were the horrors men created themselves.

Sleep didn’t come as easy as it did before, and when it did, he woke too often to feel rested. By the time he heard the pitter-patter of feet on deck, Neil was exhausted and any further thought of sleep was impossible. Between the combinations of footsteps above and the creaking of the ship, it would only result in bad dreams. 

With nothing else to occupy his mind, he pulled the journal back out. Growing up with the book glued to his mom’s side had been hard. She had told him that it led to the greatest treasure to mankind - the answer for any question worth asking. And what was more dangerous than knowledge? They ran to protect their lives and the journal from men who would use it to burn the world. Neil knew roundabout where the island that held the treasure was thanks to his mom, but he would need to use the journal to find out where exactly it was. Unfortunately, it was in code.

“You run and you destroy this book the second you find out how,” his mom’s voice echoed weakly in his head as he flipped through the pages. 

He had seen her drop it in a raging fire only for it to sit pristine amongst the ashes when it finally died off. He had seen her try to rip the pages only to drop the book panting and sweat beading her brow from exertion. Destroying the book was impossible and they both knew it. If his father wanted it, Neil would do everything he could to keep it from him - although, getting on a ship was not the best way of doing that.

His mom had never believed Neil was smart and he supposed she was right in a way. After all, he was defying her every command in favor of what she would have called a useless attempt at saving her life. But here, as his eyes skipped over the numbers and letters of the code, he could feel an irresistible stir of interest. Wishing for something to write with, Neil made do with trying to figure out the first line in his head until at last, hours later with a pounding head and a victorious smile, he had done it.

 

_ “To those who seek the truth, this book be made for you.” _

 

Shoving the pain aside, he went to the next line only to realize with a quiet groan, that it didn’t follow the same pattern as the first. When he reached Columbia he would need to buy parchment and something to write with so he could take notes. Munching on an apple, Neil frowned. Deciphering it all would be a bad idea - the more he decoded at once, the more that could be pulled out of him if he was captured.

The light faded from the room and before long it was too dark to do anything. A lifetime of always moving had not prepared Neil for the hours of nothing. He bounced his tense legs and drummed his fingers on his knees, wishing he could go for a run or pace or go up on deck to see the ocean. After almost ten years without the sea, seeing it again made him ache. 

On Hernandez’s ship he had stuck his face out the small window to drink in the sight of the rolling waves, but here on the Foxhole, with nothing to preoccupy him but his own thoughts and boredom, Neil found himself being reckless again. As soon as it had been silent up above for more than an hour, he slipped up the steps again. The deck was still off limits, but he could at least sneak to the kitchen to where the two from before were talking again. This time, they were arguing over the idea that dolphins could speak.

“Do you mean with each other or to us?” she asked, amusement coloring her voice.

“Both,” he answered.

“You can’t say both Andrew, you have to take a stance- hm?” The woman’s voice cut off abruptly and that was enough to tell Neil all he needed to move. The conversations between her and the guy - Andrew - were interesting, but not enough to keep him in a place of danger.

The next day found Neil giving up on his ‘no sleep during the day’ policy. He slept fitfully, with disturbing dreams of his father and running haunting him nonstop. When Neil was awake he ate his food sparingly and wondered how his mom was doing. With nothing better to keep his mind off of her, he took to decoding the journal again, making notes in the dust. 

By the time night had fallen again he had two more sentences done. It was frustrating but also exciting and important enough that he wanted to keep going even though he had no light to see by anymore. Needing to stretch out his aching muscles, Neil snuck back to the kitchen. He knew going back day after day was beyond stupid - especially after the way the conversation between Andrew and the girl had cut off the night before - but Neil had a thing for stupid ideas. 

With silent steps he crept nearer and nearer. Something niggled in the back of his mind and it wasn't until he was almost to the door that he realized what it was - the room beyond was silent, save for the soft breathing of someone waiting for him.

He turned before he realized the threat was not in front of him like he first believed, but behind him. Without warning, the stranger took a swing and wood slammed into Neil’s stomach, hard enough to make him drop to his knees. He struggled back to his feet, but his body refused to cooperate. 

A pale-haired woman stepped into view, regarding him silently with her dark eyes revealing nothing. Andrew wasted no time in grabbing him and panic flooded Neil’s body. He snarled, fighting against the iron grip around his arm, but it was like a kitten against a vicious dog. Slanting a fierce look at Andrew didn’t help his plight any, but it did make him feel slightly better until the severity of the situation hit him.

Adrenaline gone, Neil sagged in Andrew’s grip as his impending doom approached the closer they got to the door reserved for officers. The captain’s first mate would be beyond that door and the captain himself beyond that. Neil had gotten the barest look of the captain when he first snuck on board and wondered if he would be kind enough to kill him rather than hand him over to the authorities, or worse - if he was somehow in league with his father's men despite the fact Kevin Day was with him.

Andrew shoved the door to the quarters open without hesitation and Neil suddenly wondered if he was somehow not a mercenary like he’d originally thought and instead an officer. There was no other explanation for him to barge into this room without at least a knock. When the captain, a grizzled man with too tired eyes, and his first mate, a woman with a calculating gaze, quietly eyed the three of them standing in the doorway of the meeting room, Neil thought he may be right.

“So, someone  _ was _ on board,” the captain said to Andrew after staring at Neil long enough to make him fidget in his grasp. 

“We could throw him over,” Andrew suggested.

The captain drummed his fingers on his desk - a messy thing covered in maps and small weights. “Have you nothing to say in your defense?”

“What is there to say? I’m a stowaway. I’d rather you kill me than turn me in.”

There was a small exhale from Andrew he couldn’t interpret and the captain shot him a glance. “We don’t answer to anyone.”

His adrenaline spiked back up with determination and Neil had to bite his lip sharply to keep from saying something incredibly stupid. “You’re pirates then,” he said instead - still foolish but not as stupid as he almost was. Asking if they answered to a man named Nathan Wesninski would have been very, very stupid indeed.

“Most people beg for their lives right about now,” the captain said with a twitch of his lips.

Anything Neil was going to say in return died on his lips when the door at his back opened and he twisted to see a tall man dressed as casually as everyone else on this ship seemed to be. That didn’t matter when Neil realized he held a small satchel - his own. Resisting the urge to lurch for it, he tracked it’s journey to the desk where the man tossed it. “It was right where Andrew said it would be Captain,” he said eyeing Neil curiously.

Letting go of Neil’s arm with a pointed look, Andrew stepped closer to the desk and flipped open the bag, tossing out the remaining bandages and few clothes Neil still owned. Andrew stopped his search when his hands brushed the cover of the book. There was no trace of interest or anything else on his face, but when he opened it, his eyes flicked to the captain.

“Everyone but Dan and Andrew out,” the captain said. The man and the girl who had been watching nodded and withdrew, leaving Andrew and his first mate - Dan. Handing the book off to the captain to look through, Andrew stepped back to Neil’s side.

The captain scanned the complicated codes with furrowed eyebrows. “What is this?”

When Neil didn’t answer, the captain stood with a frustrated sigh only to freeze when Neil flinched. Settling back down in his chair, the captain ran his fingers over the cover of the book and Neil clenched his jaw, gazing at a spot just over the captain's shoulder. “Is this something that could get you killed?”

Neil wasn’t going to answer again, but Andrew shook him and he nodded, hating him with every fiber of his being. “Please just drop me off at the nearest port and I won’t bother you anymore.”

“Is it a way to treasure?” the captain pressed, completely ignoring what he had said.

“Of a sort.”

“Good enough for me. Stay with us and we can split it.”

Neil’s stomach hit his shoes and he snapped his gaze to the captain's face, searching for any sign of recognition. Even with his blank expression, there was still the matter of Kevin Day and the entire reason Neil could never accept the offer. Even if Kevin hadn’t recognized him, the years between their parting too long, certain doors needed to remain closed. Neil’s life depended on it. “This is a bad idea.”

“Your opinion has been duly noted and dismissed,” the captain said. “Stay with us instead of jumping ship and you’ll have a room and food. This book is in code, so either we let some of our finest take a look at it while you sit in a room by yourself, or you can tell us where to go and keep the book since it means so much to you.”

It was tempting to say no, to jump ship at the first chance he was given, but here was a chance at more than a life of survival - a chance at living. Instincts were out the window now - it wasn’t a want anymore, it was a need so strong it twisted into an almost debilitating panic. It was foolish, but Neil agreed and when the captain smiled back at him, it felt an awful lot like the nails going into his coffin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading and I will see y'all soon! <3333


	3. Alea Jacta Est

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wymack tapped Neil's journal, thoughtfully. “You needed a way to get to whatever is in this book.” It wasn’t a question, but Neil nodded anyways. “Where is it?”  
> This time Neil was hesitant to answer. When he slid his gaze to Andrew, he stared back with tired eyes. “I don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello surprise chapter update! I wasn't expecting to update for a bit, but I'm glad I was able to!   
> Chapter title translates to: The Die Is Cast  
> I hope everyone is having a lovely November, I know this time of year can get a little heavy for some people and this is your friendly reminder that you're never alone and someone out there loves you very much! Heck, I love you very much dear readers!   
> My birthday is coming up so I'm not sure when I'll update again, but thank you to everyone who reads this and thank you my lovely Mils for beta'ing for me as always. I love you all <333

Captain Wymack informed Neil he would bunk with Andrew’s lot and bid them goodnight, pushing away from his desk. As he grabbed the journal, Neil’s heart thudded painfully, fervently hoping Wymack would return it. When instead he tucked the journal under his arm and made his way to the door, Neils’ hopes crashed.

They hadn’t even left the room and Wymack had already turned his back on them. Trust like that would get him killed one day. Neil shoved the thought out of his head as quickly as it came. 

"That's it? You're not going to punish me for sneaking on your ship?” he asked incredulously, words out of his mouth before he could think. “Then can’t I have my book back?" 

Wymack blinked in surprise. "I think you've been punished enough,” he said, then hesitated, looking at Neil’s journal. “I’m going to keep this with me, just to make sure you don’t try and jump ship.”

Although he wasn’t dragged from the office, it was a near thing as Andrew grabbed Neil’s arm and pulled him along. “Wait, please-”

“Don’t say that word,” Andrew said and let go of his arm when he didn’t run.

Neil had assumed every ship was alike, yet the Foxhole continued to surprise him. The area reserved for the crew was sectioned off into a long hallway with several doors. Andrew had shorter legs than Neil but walked quick enough that he struggled to keep up. 

They stopped in front of one of the doors and Andrew threw it open to reveal the men Neil had seen the night at the tavern, Kevin included. Neil hesitated.

It had been hard enough in Wymack's office, closed in with no escape except at his back, but here his stomach rolled and he struggled not to show how close his knees were to buckling. He hadn’t been on his own for very long, but he had never slept in a room with anyone who wasn’t his mother. Sleeping here would be impossible. Any time one of them breathed he would wake up wondering who was after him. 

Andrew crossed the small room to yank open a set of drawers, ignoring Neil’s internal conflict. One of the others shot him a look which he also ignored, before giving Neil a blinding smile. “Hey, we heard there was a stowaway on board. How Andrew figured it, I’ll never know, but Wymack can never turn someone away,” he laughed lightly. At Neil’s bewilderment he extended a hand. “My name is Nicky Hemmick. What’s yours?”

Through numb lips, he heard himself say, “Neil. Neil Josten.” 

The world was spinning. It was too much, and he attempted to push the rising tide of a mental breakdown aside to deal with later without witnesses. It was bad enough he was in the same room as Kevin Day, despite the fact he was passed out in one of the hammocks.

Nodding in good cheer, Nicky turned to Andrew and the next words out of his mouth turned Neil to slush. “What was that about?” 

It wasn’t the words themselves which nearly sent him the rest of the way to his breakdown, but rather the language - he was fluent in German, thanks to years living overseas. That was before his mother decided the less time spent on the ocean, the better. He remembered more of Europe than he would have liked and most of it had been a bloody, painful mess. The tang of blood in his mouth was his imagination, but it was enough to choke him. He could feel his heartbeat reverberate beneath his skin as he trembled from head to toe. 

Neil barely caught the shirt Andrew tossed him. 

“No one threw him over. Maybe he’s just savoring being alive,” said another man. He looked identical to Andrew in every way but facial expression and clothes.

“No,” said Nicky. “That was pure fight or flight. What did you do to him?”

Grabbing one last article of clothes from the drawer, Andrew pushed it into Neil’s arms. In English, he said, “Change, you smell terrible.”

Neil looked down at the pair of pants and shirt in his arms. “Right now? No, I-”

With a sigh, Andrew turned to the others in the room and raised an eyebrow at them. His twin stood and gathered the parchment he had been pouring over in the dim lamplight, pushing past Neil without a word. Nicky made to follow but paused. 

“Where is he sleeping? With Aaron and me or here with you and Kevin? Because you know I don’t mind if he comes and sleeps in my hamm-” He was cut off by another of Andrew’s looks and with a final nod to Neil, Nicky hurried down the hall.

“Kevin is asleep, so one will see whatever ouchies you’re hiding,” Andrew said leaning against the wall.

Neil pulled the clothing closer to his chest. He felt off, like a single breath from Andrew could knock him over. “I don’t trust you.”

“Says the stowaway.”

They watched each other in silence, waiting to see who would budge, and when Andrew didn’t so much as blink, Neil glared and crossed the threshold into the room. 

Throwing the clothes onto one of the empty hammocks, he kicked his pants off first as they were the only place not decorated in a multitude of scars. The replacements were too short, but when he put on his boots it wouldn’t matter. The shirt, however, was a more intimidating foe and as he turned his back on Andrew, Neil took a deep breath. In one swift movement, he ripped it off and redressed as quick as he could. The shirt fell loose about his shoulders, meant more for Andrew’s broad swordsman shoulders rather than that of Neil’s runner build.

Tension drained from his body in a whoosh when he realized Andrew wasn’t looking at him.

Andrew climbed into the hammock below Kevin, leaving Neil to choose between the two on the other side of the room. Never before had he felt this entirely out of his depth. His mom had always known what to do, so Neil was fumbling through this on his own, hoping for the best. After all, people like him didn’t get chances like this. 

Sleep didn’t come that night, and it wasn’t long before Andrew slipped from his hammock with a nod to the door in a silent request. Judging by the dark circles under his eyes, Neil guessed he hadn’t slept either. It was hard to think - to breathe - around Andrew, and it was irritating someone so short could have such an oppressing presence. Irritating, but nothing Neil couldn’t handle. His childhood was stained in violence the way others were with golden nostalgia.

Above, the deck was empty except for Nicky at the wheel. Neil ignored his friendly wave and followed Andrew silently as they headed back to the captains quarters. Wymack was there, looking only slightly more rested than they are. The woman from the night before was standing at his side and she introduced herself as Dan, the first mate.

“Good morning, how are you today?” Wymack asked pleasantly, which Neil trusted about as much as he trusted Andrew not to stab him given a chance. Though, given what he knew of the men Neil trusted Wymack far more than he would ever trust Andrew. He hoped fervently he wasn’t making a mistake in trusting anyone at all.

“I’m fine,” he answered automatically, eyeing Andrew until he slipped away from his side to stand at the wall.

Wasting no time, Wymack asked, “Why exactly are you on my ship?”

There was no point in lying, but telling the full truth felt like a death sentence pulling tight around his neck. He settled on an easy truth he could give away without fear. “I was in the tavern and overheard Nicky say you were leaving in the morning. I needed a ride.”

Wymack tapped Neil's journal, thoughtfully. “You needed a way to get to whatever is in this book.” It wasn’t a question, but Neil nodded anyways. “Where is it?”

This time Neil was hesitant to answer. When he slid his gaze to Andrew, he stared back with tired eyes. “I don’t know.”

Dan scoffed. “You were just hitching rides hoping to find it? I thought this book was supposed to tell you where this treasure was.”

“I haven’t decoded all of it,” Neil shot back. “I have a general idea of where it is, but nothing more.” His fingers twitched with the aching need to grab it and cradle it to his chest, but he forced himself to be still.

Andrew shifted, and when Neil’s attention shot to him, he asked, “What makes you so special that only you can decode this book?”

“Maybe I’m lucky,” Neil said drily.

“Maybe,” Wymack agreed. “You’ve already agreed to work with us, but it’s time you told us what you are running from.”

The ground dropped from his feet and Neil fell to his death. He fought to keep his face impassive, but Dan and Wymack's frowns told him he was failing.

“Is it your parents?” Wymack asked. The fact he was so transparent elicited a flinch from Neil, and he took a shuddering breath before nodding. “Work with us, and we’ll protect you-”

The door behind Neil slammed open. Flinging himself to the side, Neil watched with wide eyes as Kevin stalked into the room. 

“Andrew, it is past time for you to be practicing. Captain, are you letting him hide in here again?”

Wymack rubbed between his eyebrows, sitting back to glare at Kevin. “No, Kevin. We were talking to our newest addition to the ship, which you would know if you took the time to actually think about anything except swords for three seconds.”

Kevin took the reprimand with a frown but looked around dutifully until his eyes landed on Neil. "Who is that?"

Neil took a shallow breath in and held it. Though his hair was no longer its natural color, there was nothing he could do about the color of his eyes. It wouldn't take Kevin long to start wondering who he reminded him of. Dan gave Neil's name, and Kevin hummed thoughtfully. 

"I thought you wanted to practice.” Andrew cocked an eyebrow, his hand straying down to the rapier he held at his side and Kevin nodded and turned heel.

Neil's legs wanted to give out, but he couldn't afford to show such weakness. When Andrew followed Kevin out the door, it was without so much as another look his way. His indifference gave Neil a grip on reality.

"I'll need paper, pen and a place to work quietly," he said, breaking the fragile silence that followed. His words prompted Wymack and Dan to halt their silent conversation conveyed through looks alone.

"That can be arranged," Wymack said. "Go meet the rest of the crew for now."

Dan put her hand on Neil’s elbow. "I'll show you around, though I suppose you know your way around the ship just fine."

Pulling from her grasp, Neil said, "Contrary to what you believe I didn't sneak around your ship while you were asleep. I mostly stayed in the hold." 

Knowing he was leaving his journal behind once more made his skin crawl, but he comforted himself in the fact he would have it back before the end of the day - whether he stole it or it was given. The how didn’t matter.

"And that's why Renee and the Monster caught you by the kitchen?"

Neil swallowed his retort as he stepped above deck to see the ocean in all its glory. Flinging himself to the railing, he held his breath and drank in the sight. It had only been a few days since he had seen it, but it was enough to hurt.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Dan breathed beside him. He didn't answer. 

Only when he felt the image had burned itself into his eyes did Neil turn away. Behind them, the rest of the crew had gathered. A few seemed genuinely happy to see him - Renee, Nicky, and the man from the night before - and those who didn't seem to care at all - Kevin, Andrew, and Aaron, and two more who seemed outright dismissive. Neil stared back, feeling closed in and jittery.

Dan took over when it was clear he wasn't going to say anything. "This is Neil Josten. He's going to be joining the crew for a little bit."

A tall, angry man scoffed. "What, so we're just taking any fuck up now? Even one that's been stealing from us?"

The girl beside him, despite being as dirty as the rest, gave off the air of someone used to being better than everyone else. Neil fought the urge to look away as she gave him a once over. Whatever she saw, she dismissed and said, "I seem to remember finding you in the garbage too, Seth."

It was Wymack stepping up from his room that stopped the fight about to break out. "Neil has the directions to something for us, so he's coming along to get a piece of it too." He turned away from his crew, glancing back at the last second to say, "Play nice with each other."

The crew scattered, going about their assigned work while Dan showed Neil to a small staircase above the helmsman, an area reserved for only the most important people of the crew. It was at where Neil had stood with Kevin and Riko as they watched his father dismantle a man to pieces with a dull ax. His stomach rolled as the memories played vividly in his mind.

“This is where you’ll be able to work through decoding your book,” Dan said gesturing to a table and chairs. 

A man from the night before set down a small bundle of parchment and a jar of ink for him and introduced himself as Matt Boyd. Neil nodded his thanks and focused on crossing the space to the table without letting his fear get the best of him. The journal was waiting for him, and without hesitation he flipped its pages open and sat down before his legs could give out. 

Damn the consequences. It would be worth it in the end. He knew he couldn’t survive on his own - he needed his mother. As soon as he could get home with the cure for her injury they could be on the road again before his father found them. 

He waited until Dan and Matt left before getting started. He needed to have something to show to Wymack, anything to give him a reason to let him stay with them. As dangerous as it was to stay on one ship the entire journey, dangerous for them all, it was a weight off his shoulders to know he had a guaranteed way of getting to the island.

The first line of the journal had been so complicated Neil assumed every line would be as difficult, but the next line was far easier. It was a simple backward encryption - each letter correlating to the letter on the opposite spectrum of the alphabet - but he still wished it was a bullet point list of where to go. The first few lines were easy enough, but the fourth had him second-guessing himself. He found himself wishing for someone to bounce his ideas off of, someone to listen and help, but there was no one here he trusted enough. He would have to push through on his own. 

Setting aside his quill, Neil glanced down to the main deck to where the crew completed their tasks with lazy movements and Kevin and Andrew stretched slowly. He narrowed his eyes and leaned over the railing, abandoning his task for the time being. 

Nicky saw him watching and came to stand by his side, waggling his eyebrows. "Like what you see?"

"What are they about to do?"

Gesturing vaguely, Nicky leaned over the railing with him to watch. "It depends. Either they'll get in a fight or they'll actually fight."

Neil scrunched his face in confusion when a sound drew his attention. A cold chill ran down his back as the men below picked up their swords and he shivered when the metal glinted in the sunlight, pretty but so very dangerous.

Saluting Andrew, Kevin flicked his sword down and crouched in position. Andrew did nothing. Instead, he stood with his rapier tucked under his arm near the pommel where it was safe to do so, but Neil's stomach clenched to see someone treat a sword so disrespectfully. Kevin waited for him to get ready, lips pursed as he started to lose patience, but Andrew seemed more than happy to make him wait.

Neil slapped the railing in frustration. The sound was barely there, but Andrew looked up all the same. Realizing who was watching, his lips twitched and he gave a two finger salute before gripping his sword. Without hesitation, he swung the rapier neatly at Kevin's face. 

His blade cut through empty air as Kevin danced back with a snarl, reminding Neil of long hours under the sun practicing those same steps with him. Only quick footwork and incredible skill saved him from Andrew marking his face with a wide stripe. Andrew and Kevin circled each other, blades flashing as steel clashed together. Kevin bounced on the balls of his feet, ever advancing, while Andrew refused to put forth any real effort. Deflecting his blade seemed like child's play to Andrew, only engaging enough to infuriate Kevin but not enough to break a sweat.

Begrudgingly, Neil admitted Andrew had talent and when he said so, Nicky laughed. "He's the best of us. Maybe even as good as Kevin when he puts in the effort."

"Why won't he?" Neil asked, watching as they danced under the noonday sun.

Nicky shrugged, but Neil knew forced indifference when he saw it. It was the look of someone who cared too much and was trying not to let the world know their heart was still soft. 

When Neil was a child, his mother used to shove his face into mirrors to show him what innocence looked like. It was a warning he couldn't ignore - either he realize how cruel the world was or he would end up dead. Now his eyes were as cold as hers, though he never thought of her eyes like the eyes of a killer. His eyes would only ever be his father’s eyes, too harsh and calculating. Neil wondered how his mother could stand to look at him when he looked like his father. He supposed that was why things were the way they were. 

Focusing back to the fight, Neil realized Kevin had stalked off. Andrew was staring up at him, the sharpness in his gaze as deadly as the sword gripped in his hand. Despite the sun beating down on his back, Neil shivered and got back to work on his journal. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Notes: I know I quoted a lot of the original source material for this, and I’m sorry! I won’t be doing it too much- if we wanted to read lines from the book we’d just read the books right? Anyways! I decided to leave the many languages in this because it’s just so useful to have?? For anyone who wants to know, here are the lines that Neil has translated so far:  
> For those who seek the truth, this book be for you.  
> For all others, fuck off.  
> This book will lead you to the thing few would realize is one of the most powerful things  
> in the world - knowledge.  
> Cue Neil banging his head on a desk and whispering that he knows all this already; just give him the INSTRUCTIONS  
> (For anyone wondering, I totally have the entire journal written out lol)  
> ANYWAYS! I'll see you next time and good luck to anyone doing nanowrimo!!


	4. Venturis Ventis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil is forced to eat with the crew and get to know them. One thing leads to another and before he knows it, Neil is being offered a chance that could save his life or doom it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello hello! Happy New Years! May 2k19 kick ass y'all.  
> Sorry it's been a bit since the last update- between work, my birthday, holiday, and at one point a foot of snow, I've been swamped. And I start classes again next week :') SO I BRING YOU AN UPDATE!! Thank you Mils for betaing as always kisses  
> Chapter title translates to: To the Coming Winds

**** Neil worked on his journal until his eyes burned and his head drooped to the table. It was nearing noon, but the idea of resting seemed laughable. The past few days had been rest enough for him. Never before in his life had Neil had to be still and quiet for so long. Even now, despite being in the process of doing something, he ached to be running or doing  _ more _ . 

As he worked, he kept one page for the translated lines and the rest for scratch work. Each line was differently coded, but there were only so many ways he knew to pick it apart. It was slow, agonizing work when the author seemed happier to ramble instead of giving instructions. 

Different crew members stopped by during the day, peering over his shoulders and squinting at his hap-hazardous writing. To anyone else it was a messy scrawl of nonsense, but that was how he wanted it to seem. He would rewrite the decoded lines into another code he and his mother had created years ago. No one could know anything he learned from the book - only those he had to tell.

When the rest of the crew traveled below deck, Wymack’s heavy steps up the stairs alerted him to more company and Neil jumped when he dropped a friendly hand on his shoulder. Shooting out of his chair and away from him, Neil watched warily to see what he would do.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to eat with the crew,” Wymack said, as if he hadn’t seen Neil nearly kill himself to get away from him.

Neil’s stomach growled traitorously and with a sigh, he began to gather his things. He didn’t want to eat with the rest of the crew - it meant he would have to get to know them and getting to know them was dangerous. One foot in front of the other. 

Following Wymack was hard, but ducking his head to follow him down the dimly lit hallway to the dining area was harder. Neil still wasn’t entirely convinced he wasn’t going to be punished for sneaking aboard and stayed cautious of a backhanded swing. Every moment they were alone and it didn’t come put him on edge. Holding his breath and hunching his shoulders could only make him so small.  

Once in the dining area, Neil froze. Scattered around a long table were the Foxes - Dan, Renee, and the other woman sat with Matt and Seth while Andrew and his group sat further down the table. It wasn’t an apparent divide, but Neil had lived his whole life reading people and knew a fractured group of people when he saw them.

Wymack gestured to the table and said, “Sit down, eat, and behave,” which left Neil to figure out where to sit on his own. There was an empty chair at the end of the table, close enough to Dan’s group that he would seem friendly but not so close as to encourage conversation. 

No such luck, as a plate soon appeared before him - Renee smiling at him when he nodded his thanks - and the Foxes clamored over each other to ask questions. 

Matt was the first. “How did you manage to get on the ship anyways?”

Neil paused with his spoon halfway to his mouth and shifted on the bench. Most of the Foxes around him looked on expectantly, even Aaron and Kevin from down the table.

“It wasn’t hard,” he said. “I snuck on the night before you left and waited until Dan and Wymack went into his office quarters.” Belatedly, he realized it might’ve sounded like bragging and shoved his spoon into his mouth to keep from saying more.

Dan’s eyebrows shot up and she laughed. “We must have passed right by you. I know you have to decode your journal to know exactly, but do you know anything about where we need to go?"

Neil ate two more bites. “South.”

“Hell yeah!” Nicky cheered from down the table. “Going to the tropics!”

Neil didn’t confirm or contradict him, but the others seemed to take it as agreement anyway and excited chatter filled the room. Sneaking a look, Neil was surprised to find Andrew already looking at him. He ripped his gaze away and focused on eating his food as fast as he could. There was something piercing about Andrew’s stare which made him uncomfortable and he felt the need to escape it.

“Other than the treasure you’re leading us to, why did Wymack let you join us?” Matt asked.

There was no way to answer - not truthfully and not with a lie. The less said, the better and Neil shoved another spoonful of his food into his mouth. It was quiet, aside from Nicky and Aaron’s conversation at the other end of the table. They both put Neil on edge, but he fiercely wished he had chosen to sit closer to them to have avoided all this.

Dan elbowed Matt with a firm set to her lips and said, “It doesn’t matter the reason. He’s a Fox now, so we play nice.”

Shrugging, Matt turned back to Neil. “I became part of the crew after Wymack found me traveling around with my mom. I wasn’t doing much with my life, and so he offered me a place here.”

Neil nodded, unsure of what else he could do. He hadn’t asked him to tell his story, but Matt seemed happy to do so.

“Wymack found me after I got kicked out of my old job,” said Dan when Neil didn’t offer anything else. “I worked in a slum tavern and beat a man for touching one of my sisters. I guess I impressed him.”

The other girl at the table stood with an eye roll and said, “This is ridiculous, he doesn’t even care. If he did he would have asked.” She swept from the room, reminding Neil of the all ladies he knew from his mother's family. Seth followed behind with a snarky remark Neil didn't catch, but he saw the stillness settle over Nicky and the daggers Aaron glared at his back.

The Foxes fell silent and Neil hazarded a look around. Renee was watching the door with a look that made him uncomfortably aware that if they were all Foxes for a reason, she would have something in her past too. The darkness leaving her eyes was all the proof he needed. When she caught Neil's stare, she gave him a smile before excusing herself as well.

The conversation started back up tentatively as the Foxes ate. Neil stayed out of it and they seemed content to let him keep to himself. Andrew at the end of the table stayed quiet, pushing his food around his plate as Kevin and Aaron argued over the importance of footwork in fencing.

It felt awkward to stay once he was finished and Neil gave a quick goodbye before making his way back to the deck. As he stepped down the hall, two sets of footsteps followed behind. With the exception of his mother, anyone at his back had never gone well for him and Neil whirled about, ready for a fight, and tensed further at the sight of Kevin and Andrew. Watching warily, he allowed them to come close, but took a step back when they crowded into his space. Kevin reached for him and Neil flinched away.

“He’s not running away, let him go,” Andrew said, leaning against the wall. Neil flicked his eyes to him briefly before focusing on the more important matter at hand.

“Did the Ravens send you to bring me back?” Kevin asked as he released his arm.

Relief flooded Neil’s body, and he couldn’t help the snort that escaped. “Not everything is about you believe it or not.” 

If he was asking about the Ravens, then Kevin had no idea who Neil was. Shaking his head with a laugh, Neil turned to leave. It was only after sunlight hit his face that he had the horrifying revelation he shouldn’t have antagonized Kevin when his watchdog stood not two feet away. Starting fights without finishing them was a flaw his mother tried to fix near daily, but it never worked. Neil pulled his journal back out of his bag and settling back down at the table - he had worse things than Andrew to deal with.

He hadn’t been working long when Wymack checked on him again. Neil tried to ignore the crawl between his shoulders as he peered at his papers with a confused furrow of his brows.

“Is this part of the journal or did you put it into more code?” he asked.

Neil watched Wymack's shoulders as he tried to decide the best way to answer. Taking too long would result in anger, but he didn’t think admitting his mistrust in the crew would go over well. Jumping over the edge of the railing instead was looking more and more appealing by the second.

“My notes are in code,” he said finally. “I didn’t think it would be good for the translations to fall into the wrong hands.”

Surprisingly, Wymack laughed and settled down across the table from him. “Is there someone you have in mind?” Neil didn’t answer but whatever Wymack found in his expression mellowed him, and he clasped his hands. “Is there anything you need us to know? Or is it us you don’t trust?” 

Once again, words couldn’t come, and Neil stayed very, very still. Wymack nodded and stood. “Get some sleep when you get too tired. I’d like to say we have time, but we aren’t Foxes without our ghosts. Sometimes our ghosts still have flesh and we’re still running, but that doesn’t mean we need to run ourselves to the ground.”

His words shook Neil to his core and as he turned to leave, Neil couldn’t help but want to give him something, even if it was small. “South,” he called. When Wymack paused to look over his shoulder, Neil continued. “We need to turn south. That’s all I know right now.”

Wymack nodded and left Neil to his work. For the rest of the day the Foxes left him to it, until the blonde woman came to light a lamp for him.

She paused to watch the ocean when she had finished. “I’m Allison,” she said. “You better be getting us something good. Don’t make Captain regret taking you in.”

Neil rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands and when he looked up again, she was gone.

As the chatter from the Foxes faded, their jobs for the day done, Neil took a moment to watch the sunset. Nothing could ever compare to this - the world exploding in a fire, one last spark of life before the dead of night.

The thought of going back to Andrew and Kevin’s room while they were still awake was not ideal and with a sigh, he laid his head down.

Sleep claimed him and he found himself trapped in one of his dreams, as real and vibrant as life itself. It always began with a dizzying feeling - a push and pull tearing his mind and body apart. This was no different, but rather than the usual dream of his father and his knife, this was beautiful.

As a child, he had often wondered what it would be like if ships could sail the sky. His dream took that thought and made it real, and he found himself achingly wishing. Throwing himself at the railing, Neil’s eyes were wide with wonder as he tried to make sense of what he was seeing. All around the ship was nothing but stars, as if their ship had taken flight and the heavens themselves were within reach. There was a warmth by his side, but when he turned he found himself alone.

The presence at his side was persistent, even as he walked around the empty ship and looked at the constellations. There had been someone long ago, years behind him when they hide in the mountains, who had told him stars were hotter than any fire in the world. Even the beauty of the night sky back than couldn’t compare to what he saw now.

In the distance was a village settled into a cliffside. He squinted, and in the next moment he found himself tripping down time-worn steps as he flinched in the sudden brightness of day.

Everything was green, the walls devoured by plants and pathways patched in grass. Neil blinked tears from his eyes. The village was wholly reclaimed by nature. The presence he felt by his side on the ship was still there, and it followed as he explored. It hauntingly beautiful, but the deeper they traveled, the more Neil took to looking over his shoulder.

As he made his way towards a cathedral high on the hill, he found himself wishing the presence at his side was someone solid he could talk to. The closer he got, the more uneasy he felt, until he was running. It never stopped and shadows crept into his peripheral vision. He stumbled up the stairs, tripping and crashing on the steps. 

Gasping in pain, he woke as he fell from his chair. Hysterical laughter bubbled in his throat, but he shoved it down. He was back, ghosts weren't real, and he was as safe as he could be. Holding his shaking hands up to his face, Neil let out a weak breath in surprise that his hands were not cut in his fall.

“Are you planning on sitting on the ground all night or would you like to be useful?”

Kevin’s unexpected appearance was as much of a shock as waking back up on the ship had been. He stood beside the table, something akin to concern twisting his mouth as he stared.

“What?” Neil asked, dazed and waiting for this to prove to be a dream as well. How could he tell what was real and what wasn’t anymore?

Kevin gestured down the stairs at Andrew who sat on the railing, watching the ocean. “I need to practice, and Andrew is refusing.” He held out a sword hilt first towards Neil and waited for him to decide.

Of all the people one Neil’s list who could never see him pick up a sword, Kevin was number one, but it was getting harder to refuse. 

On the run, he had used one a few times, but they were harder to conceal than knives or pistols. Any skill he had attempted to hone as a child were rusty now, but damn the consequences. He wanted this. After all, he was already sailing, and his mother could be angry after he saved her life.

Neil took the sword.

It was perfect, utterly  _ perfect _ , in his hand and it horrified him how wonderful simply holding it felt. Kevin watched him with an indecipherable expression and Neil followed him down the stairs. Andrew didn’t look away from the ocean, and Neil was content to ignore him.

“So it’s true what they say. You relearned how to fight entirely after the Raven’s broke your hand?” Neil asked, as Kevin flexed it.

He looked surprised Neil knew the truth about the circumstances behind his abrupt departure from the Raven’s Royal Navy, but when Neil gave no explanation he held it up to show the crisscrossing of scars on the back. “They broke my hand, they didn’t break me.”

“Do you tell yourself that at night when you’re sad and scared the Ravens are coming for you?” Andrew asked, looking at them for the first time. His face was alight only by the cherry glow of what he was smoking and his eyes seemed to glow, unearthly. Neil couldn't look away.

Dropping his hand, Kevin made a face. “Genius or spite, it doesn’t matter. What matters is here and now, and I’m ready to go.” He crouched and held his sword up in his good hand.

An en garde position was strange to do - no one had ever cared how Neil’s form had looked when trying to separate his head from his shoulders. It was hard not to fall into the easy sense of dancing with his sword, but he knew nothing of his upbringing could come out. Try as he did, some things were hard to hide, like the looseness in his body or the speed of his reactions. 

Even so, after an hour of Kevin correcting his hold or his steps, Kevin seemed contemplative. “Let me train you,” he said. “You've had some already. Either that or you're a natural.”

Neil froze, glancing between them. Training would make him formidable. It would give him hopes and aspirations to follow his own path - something someone like him should never have. It was cruel to even dream about, but Neil wanted it so bad he could taste it.

“First you think I’m a Raven and then you want to train me,” he said, handing his borrowed sword back. 

Kevin shrugged. “Andrew doesn’t think you’re dangerous. Will you let me train you?”

Gazing back, Neil nodded firmly.

“I’m glad this is all settled. Can we go to sleep now?” Andrew asked, hopping to his feet. They followed him down the hall, but when Kevin stepped into the room Andrew stood in front of the doorway and refused to let Neil by. “You may not be a danger to Kevin in the way the Ravens are, but there’s something about you that doesn’t add up. I don’t trust you.”

That startled a tired laugh from Neil. “I don’t trust me either,” he said, and squeezed past him to curl up in his hammock. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh so very off topic- does anyone here play Kingdom Hearts?? Y'all the last game comes out in 19 DAYS. I'll be crying for sure  
> Here is the few lines that Neil translated this time: South, go south friend. Warm waters await you - as do many fantastic things. I wonder.. I wonder if they exist in your world now. I dreamt once that the wonders of the world would be captured and sold, as they are unique and not found often. 
> 
> Neil hates the rambling guy who wrote this with a burning passion. R.I.P Neil


	5. Noctem Sideribus Tractat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small comforts war against everything Neil knows and in the end, there's a promise to be made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello, I have returnnneddd~  
> So, I went to Katsucon and can I just really quickly say that I saw the two cutest Andrew and Neil cosplayers?? Y'all, if you're out there, if you remember being chased down when it was freezing cold outside by a tiny blonde idiot- that was me and I want to say I love you. Thank you for letting me take a pic with you.   
> Chapter title translates to : A Night of Brilliant Deals

Neil had been at his table working on the next few lines for nearly half an hour when Andrew arrived. The purple bruising under his eyes seemed darker than it had the day before and Neil eyed him before scribbling another note on his scrap paper. “Do you ever sleep?” he asked.

Andrew didn’t answer. Pulling out the chair across from Neil, he sat and dragged some of Neil’s notes towards him. Watching curiously, Neil allowed it to happen. There was something about the careful blankness on Andrew’s face and it pulled him in. It was like holding his hand out to a feral dog and waiting for it to bite, but enjoying the company before it did. 

As his eyes scanned the papers before him, Andrew began to roll a smoke. Neil watched like a hawk as he lit it, the citric smell washed over him. It disgusted him - his stomach rolling and heaving like the waters they sailed through - but it also brought him the utmost comfort and he leaned forward as discreetly as he could to take a whiff. 

Andrew caught him instantly, as Neil figured he would have. Neither of them moved to leave and slowly, deliberately, he blew smoke at him. Releasing a shuddering breath he hadn’t known he was holding, Neil realized he felt more grounded than he had in days. They didn’t speak as he worked, but by the time the sun broke the horizon, he had gotten more done than the day before. 

When the deck slowly came alive with the other members, Andrew left him. Alone once more, Neil found himself getting distracted by the chatter of the Foxes and the sounds of the sails above him. It was almost a relief when he heard Wymack on the stairs - relief turned sour when Kevin popped up behind Dan. Andrew followed behind, a quiet shadow flitting to the railing as he made himself at home there. 

At Wymack's vague gesture, Neil spoke. “The book says warm waters await us if we go south.”

Kevin snorted. “Very descriptive. Anything more south than we are now is warmer.” 

Shooting him a vicious glare, Neil pointed to the map on his table - by far the most detailed one he had ever seen, held down with small weights. Wherever they went was added to it, each new thing discovered and inked with a steady hand. “Alright smart ass, tell me where to go then. No? Then shut up and let me talk.” 

Dan didn’t bother to smother her loud laugh, but Neil ignored it to finish his report. “I don’t know how important this is-”

“If that journal says it, then you tell me,” Wymack said.

“The book says there’s an arch we can pass through and then,” Neil hesitated, flicking his eyes from Wymack to Andrew for a fraction of a second. “We sail underwater?”

Rather than ignoring or dismissing him outright, Wymack turned to his crew. “Thoughts?” 

“Think it’s talking about the Ocean’s Ladder?” Dan asked. 

Neil narrowed his eyes in confusion, rolling the words around in his mouth. Whatever the Ocean’s Ladder was, she didn’t seem pleased by the idea of it. He was aware of Andrew’s gaze on him but he turned to the map looking for what Dan had named. 

“It’s a formation of rocks down south, past the tip of de Leon, and it’s usually avoided. Going under ladders is bad luck and going under this is the same. Lots of people have gone through it and never returned home,” Wymack said, peering over the map with Neil. Without hesitation, his thick finger jabbed at a small dot, no more than a week of sailing away. 

“There’s nothing beyond that,” Neil murmured, skimming his notes. “I’m not sure what this next part means either, but whatever it is it won’t be through the Ocean’s Ladder.”

“You really don’t know, do you?” Kevin asked, his brows furrowing incredulously. “Have you ever actually been on a boat?” Ignoring Neil’s middle finger, he continued. “The archway brings you bad luck. If you do it right, then you’ll end up somewhere else.” 

“Like magic,” Neil said flatly, looking from Wymack to Dan. It wasn’t until he met Andrew’s even stare that unease settled low in his stomach. He huffed a humourless laugh. “You’re serious.” 

Andrew’s eyes flicked down to the journal and Neil had to admit he had a point. To Wymack, he said, “We need to pass through the arch one day past a full moon.” 

Wymack nodded. “We’ll start heading that way then. Keep up the good work Neil.” 

“Captain,” Neil called, before he could leave. “If magic is real, then does that mean sirens are, too?”

“Do we need to worry about them?” Wymack countered.

Neil hesitated, caught between the world he knew of fairytales and the world where things were very real. He was afraid of crossing over, of the possibility there were more things to fear than just his father or his mother's death. Both of those had been a waking nightmare for him, but he knew some of these fairytales could cast a shadow far more significant. A shiver of fear crawled down his spine as he realized he may have gotten himself into something bigger than himself. 

“I don’t know,” he confessed. “The book mentions them in passing.” 

Dan and Wymack exchanged a glance before the captain leaned over the edge of the railing and bellowed for Allison. Snatching his book up from the table, Neil watched warily - sure he had said the wrong thing when he should have lied. 

Allison arrived with a frown and she pushed past everyone to stand before him. “What have you done?”

“Nothing,” Neil shot back, edging away from her. 

“What have you said?” 

Wymack cleared his throat and said, “Neil mentioned we may run into sirens.” 

Her eyes didn’t leave Neil’s face, and he felt as if she could see through him to untangle the knot of lies that made up his soul. “Is this treasure really worth our deaths?” 

Neil frowned. “I’m not sure about anything, but you’re the ones who agreed to take me there. If sirens do exist, it should be easy for us to sail by. We could tie the men up and let the girls get us past them. I could help.”

“Why you?” Dan asked with furrowed brows.

Shrugging carelessly, Neil said, “I don’t swing. It won't bother me.”

“What does that even mean?” Kevin scoffed, and Neil sighed, wondering how someone could be a prodigy is so many areas of life and miss out on the social interactions of half of it. 

“I don’t swing - I’m not interested. Sirens won’t bother me.” 

Rubbing his chin with a grimace, Wymack thought deeply before answering. “The problem is, I’ve heard varying accounts from people. The song of a siren is like a drug - once it gets in your head, it’s all you want. For some, sirens sing of knowledge instead of love. Is there no way around this?”

“I don’t even know if we’ll see them. It was mentioned in passing.” 

“What exactly did your journal say?” Allison asked. “Word for word.”

“It’s long, but here’s everything I’ve translated today: ‘Between the arches, moon one day past full, and under the ocean sail - one and two, then three and four. Pass by five and enter nine. I wonder.. I wonder if these things exist in your world now. I dreamt once that the wonders of the world would be captured and sold. They were special and not found often. Will my friends the sirens be lost by the time this reaches you?’” When he finished, Neil scrunched his face. “The guy who wrote this rambles a lot, but this is the most directions he’s given so far.” 

Dan sighed. “At least we’re heading south. I would rather deal with the singing kind than the ones that can take down a polar bear.”

At that, even Kevin looked unsure. “This is fake, right? You are all lying about magic and mermaids.”

Snorting, Dan replied, “And here you were making fun of poor Neil for not knowing much. Neither of you ain’t ever sailed the waters past what the navy patrols, have ya?”

“We should be fine,” Allison said before Kevin could snark something back. She was staring at the ocean, eyes darting along the horizon as if looking for something. “The se is angry,” she murmured, so quietly Neil wondered if she had meant to be heard. She tossed her head and strided down the stairs as if she had never said anything at all. “I’ll be in my room.” 

Renee went to her side the second Allison’s bare feet touched the deck and Neil cast a look at the horizon, wondering what she could have seen to make her so uneasy. Wymack and Dan followed after, sharing a glance as they went. 

Left behind, Kevin frowned at the Andrew and Neil and huffed. “Whatever you’re doing, hurry up. It’s time to practice.” 

Andrew waited until they were completely alone and even though Neil knew he was possibly the most dangerous person on the ship other than himself, his shoulders relaxed and he collapsed into his chair. He watched Andrew warily, waiting for him to speak. 

“Did you know it would take us this way?”

“No,” Neil answered, truthfully. He had only found out that morning while he worked in his quiet company. 

Andrew stared at him a moment longer before going down the stairs without another word. The rest of Neil’s morning was spent staring at the sea, wondering how many things his mother told him was a lie. 

At lunch, Nicky called and gestured for him to join him at the end of the table. None of the others who sat with him the day before were anywhere around and Neil saw more harm in alienating himself from the crew than he did from Nicky. 

“I heard we’re traveling through the Arch,” he said the moment Neil was comfortable. “I wonder if there are any male sirens - or do you think mythology is as sexist as real life?” 

When Neil shrugged and dug into his food, Nicky sighed. “Maybe it’s for the best, I think Erik would be upset if I were taken by a siren.”

Confusion settled on Neil like a well-worn blanket. “Erik?” he asked warily, the name unfamiliar to him. He flicked through his mental list of the crew and wondered if perhaps one of them had stayed hidden away.

“Oh yeah, Erik - the love of my life. We’ll have beautiful babies one day.”

“Why? You have a problem with Nicky being gay?” Andrew said, dropping down beside Neil. He flinched at the intrusion and settled for glaring when he realized who it was. 

“No.”

Nicky seemed eager to clear the air and launched into the tale of how he and Erik had met. “He’s a blacksmith now, back in Palmetto. After every job we finish, we head home and rest until we’re needed again.”

“You all live together?” Neil asked. He had finished his food but was curious enough to stay a moment longer.

“Cousins,” Aaron said, as he came to sit on Nicky’s other side. 

The twins looked nothing like Nicky, but then, Neil looked nothing like his mother - height aside - so he kept his mouth shut and left them to the rest of their meal. 

Focusing on his notes was useless for the rest of the afternoon and the pen felt stilted in his hands after having held a sword once more. He wondered if Kevin would ask him to practice again that night or if he was still in a mood after Neil told him to shut up that morning. 

Eyes drawn to the horizon, he let his mind wander from his mother to Kevin and then to Andrew. He was confusing and dangerous - a horrible mix for someone as secretive as himself. As he watched the sky bruise with the dusky purples and blues of late evening, Neil realized he had gotten nothing done and time had gotten away from him. It did that sometimes. He would blink and hours passed. There was always something he felt he had missed when it happened - some detail his mind blocked, like when he dreamt of Lola whispering in his ears all the things she wanted to do to him.

With a shudder, he pushed away from his table and gathered his supplies. He needed to be alone. Why he thought of Lola at that moment, he didn’t know, and now she was a presence that stuck with him and nausea crawled in his throat, choking his every breath. 

Neil crossed the deck, ignoring Matt’s cheerful call to him and only stopping when Allison stumbled out from the doorway leading below deck. Her expression was set in a fierce grimace, and Neil stepped neatly to the side to let her by. Renee followed after, pausing to smile gently at him. “Are you doing all right, Neil?”

He nodded and hoped it didn’t look as disjointed as it had felt. Across the deck, Allison stode to Wymack’s side, his full attention diverting solely to her.

“What is she doing?” he asked. There was a simmering fear, growing into a full boil in his stomach. Had she found him out in some way? Perhaps realized Neil Josten was not a real person and never could be?

“There’s a storm coming. One of the biggest she’s ever seen.” 

The horizon was as peaceful as ever and Neil frowned. “How?” 

“How did she know?” Renee asked. “Allison is a sea witch.”

Scoffing, Neil shook his head and headed below deck. “Of course she is. What else will be real by the time I wake up in the morning? The idea that the Earth is round?”

“No, that one has already been proven true,” Andrew said at his side. 

Neil jumped and sighed when Andrew fell in step with him, not bothering to argue his claim. There was no point in asking him to leave him alone either and so they walked to their room together. 

When Neil settled in his bunk with his back to the rest of the room, he closed his eyes tightly and hoped sleep would come quickly. 

“What are you so afraid of?” asked Andrew.

Refusing to turn around, Neil replied, “Nothing.” 

“ _ You _ are nothing. There is something you’re afraid of though. What is it?”

Neil gritted his teeth and stayed silent. 

“I’ll figure you out eventually,” Andrew said. The door clicked shut as he left the room and Neil sank into the netting of his hammock, pulling the scratchy blanket over his head. There were too many words in his mind - echoing from the journal, his mother, Lola. Past and present as confusing as it had ever been. 

The sleep he had been so hopeful for gave him dreams like cats made of smoke winding around his legs and tripping him - there one second and gone the next. Never substantial. He woke, sweating and panting. They had taken him to a room from his childhood with long tunnels painted in blood and a trapdoor leading to a place of torture. 

It took him a moment to remember where he was and he realized he was not alone. Kevin stood in the doorway, his expression unreadable. 

“You missed dinner.”

Rubbing a hand down his face, Neil sighed. “I think that’s the least of my worries right now.” 

Kevin rolled his eyes and turned away, pausing at the last second. “Eat, and then it’s time to practice.” 

Neil was loath to leave his journal behind, but there was no point in taking it with him and nothing to do with it if he did. Grabbing an apple from the kitchen on his way up, he took a bite and grimaced when he realized he had no appetite. Kevin and Andrew were waiting for him, but tonight there was another person there - and he was angry. 

“Why is he more important than any of the rest of us? When Riko comes for you the rest of us will die, but your conscience will be clear because at least you trained one person to fight by your side.” Seth balled his hands tight, itching for a fight as the air between him and Kevin sparked with tension. It was Neil stepping into view that pulled Kevin’s attention away. 

“About time. Stretch and get ready,” he snapped.

Neil raised a brow, unwilling to let him to take his frustration out on him. 

Seth stepped forward. “By ignoring me the second he comes close, you’re only proving my point. Why is a stranger worth more than any of us? Why is his life worth more than mine?”

Kevin scoffed and rolled his eyes, as if the conversation did not even cross his mind as necessary, but to Neil who hadn’t thought about it at all, the revelation shook him. Why did Kevin only train with him and Andrew? For what purpose?

“This is why the Raven’s threw you out! No one wanted to be under the thumb of another asshole,” Seth said and he scoffed and pushed past Neil as he left. 

Neil stretched distractedly, his words ringing in his ears, but the sword two feet from him was far more pressing. It was useless to think about any future he could have when his mother lied sick in her bed, but if he tried hard enough the fuzzy edges of a happy life came to mind. It faded just as fast, out of reach for someone like him. It wasn’t possible when he would have to spend his entire life outrunning the people who wanted to see the world burn. He stood to his feet and assumed a ready position. 

“Begin,” Kevin barked, and Neil had enough time to realize he should have paid attention to Kevin’s reaction to Seth’s words rather than slip into the heaviness of his thoughts. He was fighting to prove something, though he never resorted to dirty tactics like Neil did. 

It was fast, with the only break in the ringing clashes being Kevin’s sharp criticisms, but there were ghosts neither of them could shake and old wounds burned with the memory of those who inflicted them. Sweat beaded Kevin’s brow, and before long their breathing was too ragged for any talking at all. It was when Neil’s foot slipped, and he went down that the night went from bad to worse.

Kevin was over him in a flash, sword pointed in Neil’s face. The ghosts shifted, changing Kevin into people he could never be and Neil squeezed his eyes shut. He must have made some sound, because when he opened them again,  Andrew stood between them. 

Panting heavily, Neil scrambled to his feet. “You didn’t have to do that,” he snapped. 

Andrew didn’t bother to turn to him.  “Enough. Go to bed. I don’t feel like cleaning blood off the deck in the morning, which is where this will end if you continue.”

“I don’t need your help.”

“I’m not helping you, I hate you.”

Taking his sword with him, Neil stalked downstairs to the kitchen for a cloth to wipe down with. He had always been told to never accept help and never to break down and here he was. It wouldn’t happen again. 

Sleep wasn’t going to come, so rather than listening to Andrew and watching the ceiling for the rest of the night, Neil slipped from the room again. Sneaking around the ship was almost funny. He had done it out of necessity before, but now he did it simply so he wouldn’t run into Kevin. 

The deck was empty save for Andrew near the railing. After debating if he should simply hide in the kitchen until he felt like seeing anyone, Neil chose to join him cautiously. 

Andrew barely looked at him and Neil found he liked it. He wasn’t being ignored - they were simply existing together. It felt similar to being with his mother, with no words unless they were needed, but their presence nearby to keep them grounded. 

“Why don’t you smoke a pipe?” Neil asked, as Andrew rolled another smoke.

“Why do you care?” came the answer, which was more than he had expected. 

Neil leaned back against the railing and turned his face up to the stars. “They smell better. Wouldn’t it be cheaper to not buy all that paper to roll your cigars in?”

“Cigarillo,” Andrew said.

Neil paused, peering at Andrew from the corner of his eye. “Cigarillo?” he repeated. “What’s the difference?”

Andrew didn’t take his gaze off of the ocean. When he answered, his tone was flat, but Neil was starting to wonder if flatness equaled boredom after all. “Cigarillos are thinner than cigars. It takes less to fill them up.” He turned and stepped closer to Neil, his eyes much too bright in the dark. Neil fought the urge to look away from him. “Who are you?”

“I’m no one important,” Neil said, watching the glow of Andrew’s smoke cast strange shadows on his face. 

“Says the man who shows up with a journal leading the way to something straight out of a child’s tale, and yet you’ve managed to convince not only the captain, but Kevin as well. I’m interested, sue me.” 

Neil snorted. “You have nothing for me to take.”

“Not true.” Andrew took another drag of his cigarillo and blew the smoke in Neil’s face. “I can offer you protection.”

Blinking, Neil mulled the words over. “What makes you think I need protecting?” He waved a hand around the empty deck and then behind him towards the sea. “What here is going to harm me, other than you?” He ignored the fact that not an hour ago his ghosts had their talons gripping him too tightly to breathe.

Andrew bared his teeth at that and stubbed out his smoke. “Harm me or mine and that is the only reason I would hurt you. I’m offering to make you mine. I won’t ask again.”

Neil tilted his head in consideration. “Why?”

“You’ve got a look in your eye that says regardless of how far out to sea we are, you are willing to throw yourself into our rowboats at any given moment.” 

Neil turned away - he didn’t need nor want his truths hanging between them - but Andrew was quicker, snagging the collar of his borrowed shirt and dragging him to a halt. “Running can only get you so far.”

“Let go,” Neil ground out. 

“Why? Because suddenly someone has their eye on you? Because you have secrets you don’t want the world to know?” Andrew paused. “No. You don’t want Kevin to know something about you, but you’re not a Raven.” 

Neil stopped struggling in Andrew’s iron grip. “Why?”

“Ask me later,” Andrew replied. “You won’t understand now. Give your back to me and give your sword to Kevin. We will protect you, and in return we get whatever treasure you’re leading us to.” He pushed Neil away, watching as he stumbled. 

He left as fast as he could, balancing a fine line between cowering away and walking with his head held high, but he only made it to the kitchen hall before his legs gave out. Gripping the wall desperately, he shoved the nausea threatening to choke him down. How was he supposed to take Andrew seriously? He thought of Kevin asleep in the room and wondered how he could stay strong in the face of all that went wrong. Riko was to Kevin what Neil’s father was to him - a death sentence - and yet Kevin felt safe... because of Andrew. Now he thought he could stand between Neil and his enemies as well. 

Neil itched to run, to pound his feet against the ground putting distance between him and every thought that came. It was impossible on a ship, but less impossible was the thick bag of canvas below deck. Boxing was not his desired approach, but with nothing else to clear his mind he spent the night going through the motions taught to him by his mother. 

_ Left cross, right hook, uppercut, jabs only, elbows tucked in to increase the power, on and on. _

Neil knew better than to believe such dangerous promises, but Andrew’s words haunted him with every punch he threw. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In other news- I totally beat kh3 and I cried my damn eyes out. oof.   
> Thank you all for being so patient with me and for all the lovely comments! The story is REALLY beginning now! We have directions aaanndd the makings of a deal already. It’s gonna be great. God bless my father in law for teaching me basic boxing when we were still kids. I remember some of it all these years later. Some.


	6. Cor Tempestas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was horrifyingly beautiful, the way the lightning forked across the darkness of the sky to the ships sturdy railing. There was no time to think or analyze the beauty of nature after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! So, two things super fast. 1) my beta and I are trying something new with the editing process. Usually she edits for me and then I scan over it once more before yeeting it here. This time she highlighted all the spots that needed to be fixed and I did it myself. I'm trying to become a better writer, but I'm sure I missed some things. If you see anything, please feel free to comment below okay?  
> 2) I'm going to try and get on a more regular updating schedule! hopefully once every two weeks? That may change to once every 3 once I start writing my new foxhole fic haha  
> Anyways! Chapter title translates to Heart Storm. Warnings for some injuries later in the chapter, nothing too graphic but please be careful if you're not comfortable with that kind of thing.

****The door loomed before Neil, and he stood with his answer gripped tight as if it was the only thing keeping him afloat at sea. It was terrifying to have so much of his fate rest on one word.

Andrew opened the door before he had the chance to knock, and they stared at each other - two men with nothing to lose and willing to wait. It was Andrew who caved first. Reaching out with two fingers, he pressed them to Neil's throat to check his pulse. A fierce but satisfied smile pulled at his lips.

"You would be far more scared if you were planning on telling me no."

"Either that or I'm very stupid," Neil replied.

Andrew nodded, "True. So make it easy for me and choose the answer that won't get you killed- be a fox with the rest of them, no more running."

Neil raised an eyebrow, "Are you not a fox too?"

His fierce smile spread and Andrew leaned forward into Neil's space, "I am me, and I do not belong to anyone else.”

"Is that why you're a mercenary?"

Andrew didn't answer, stepping aside allowing Neil to slide into the room and settle in their hammocks for the night.

There was no time the next morning for more than a bite of food before Wymack was calling the crew together for a meeting. Assembling on deck, they stood under Wymack’s stern eye.

“Allison says we have a big storm coming- bigger than anything we’ve seen. That means until it hits, we get ready for it. I want every hand working on getting things tied down and the sails free from fraying or tears. There isn’t time to do anything else.”

A low murmur went through the Foxes as they scanned the horizon. It was hard to believe Allison when the sky was the same blue it had been for the past two weeks. But no one seemed to doubt her words and it only made Neil more apprehensive.

Wymack turned away, waving a hand at Dan who took charge of the situation. “Nicky, Aaron - take down those back sails, I don’t want us tipping over in this. Kevin, Andrew - walk the ship. I want nothing out of place. Neil, you’re down in the kitchen because I’m not sure you know port from stern at this point. Seth, you’re- never mind. Take the helm. Renee, help Neil until Allison needs you.” The crew scrambled to oblige.

As much as he would have loved to be on deck helping, he couldn't give away how much he knew about running a ship. Heading to the kitchen, Neil found himself standing lost with a pile of potatoes in front of him. He had no idea what to do.

In his entire life, he had never cooked. Eating things burned over small fires didn’t count- those were things he could barely stomach but learned to eat regardless. The idea of making food for people to enjoy was unfathomable.

“Neil?”

He instinctively slammed his elbow back. It was only when Renee caught his elbow in an iron grip that he realized who was behind him. She let go, and his apologies were waved away.

Side stepping him, she pulled out a small box from one of the many containers around the kitchen area.

"We try to prevent the sailor's sickness by eating as much fresh fruit as possible, but longer we are out at sea though, the more impossible it gets. Aaron suggested teas from lemon rinds - something about the vitamins in it. He's very smart." She measured out tea leaves, her movements precise, and Neil watched. "We all drink a cup of it every few days.”

Watching her brought back memories of his mother's careful hands wrapped around a teapot, the sound of London a backdrop to their conversation. People were everywhere in London, and for once it hadn’t made him want to disappear in the anonymity of it. In his uncle’s home, they were safe. Horses and carriages clattered past the windows, and greetings were shouted. Even when it rained, the gentle thrumming of it against the window panes, it was _good._ It was one of the few good memories he had of his childhood, and one of the last times they had talked with smiles on their faces. His mother had taken him across the sea to see her brother, only to leave a year later, and Neil still remembered the bitter taste of the tea, stained with the bitterness of crushed hope. He had begged his mother to stay in London - he would do the lessons his Uncle Stuart pressed onto him, he would do anything she asked. It hadn't ended well.

“Where are you from Neil?” Renee asked, and it was like she peered into his mind and knew he was thinking of the closest thing he had to home. It was a shock, enough so that it made him forget the lie that was _Neil Josten_.

He didn't know how to answer, and the silence stretched long enough that Renee gave him a knowing look. I heard Kevin is training you now."

Neil was still reeling from her careful digs into his armor and shot back, "And I heard you're in love with Allison."

His words were nothing more than tidbits given his first day on the ship when Nicky filled him in on who was with who and the ugliness surrounding Seth's hatred of it. Regardless of if it were a complete shot in the dark or not, Renee laughed loud and carefree.

Though she seemed in a good mood, Neil felt some surprise at the stirring of guilt that welled up inside of him. They fell into silence, and she moved towards another metal box filled with sand. Neil watched as she built a small fire in it using a bundle of wood put off to the side. It was a small stove, only meant for one pot.

On his father's ship they had hung a pot from the beams to cook, but here on such a small ship they couldn't do that. Renee heated up water on the stove and proceeded to make a cup of tea for the both of them.

For lack of anything else to do, Neil began peeling potatoes. He couldn't help but feel like the silence wasn't a mutual thing, but rather she was waiting him out smugly, more amused than anything else.

No sooner did she set his cup of tea in front of him in a chipped cup than a roll of thunder rippled through the ship.

Neil whipped around to look out the door, as if it were possible to see the sea from where he sat. “I didn’t know you could hear a storm below deck,” he breathed.

“Would you like to go see? Allison promises it’s going to be interesting,” Renee said, sipping her tea. Dropping his potato on the table, Neil didn't bother answering as he rubbed his hands clean on his pants as he left.

Above deck was a scurrying mess of activity, but for once, he wasn’t looking at what everyone was doing. He was watching the dark clouds roll in, faster than the churning waves slapping the side of the ship.

Allison appeared at his side. “It’s unnatural.” At his glance, she gestured at the sky. “I’ve never seen a storm like this, have you? Interesting that it popped up when you did.”

Her words stirred something ugly inside Neil, and he thought of Lola. Fingers twitching at his side, he balled them and pushed away the memories of the air sparking around her. Whenever she was mad or happy, the clouds would roll and rain would dance. Shoving away from Allison, he went to Wymack at the helm.

“Let me do something useful,” he said.

Wymack snorted, his eyes glued to the sky. “Like what? Stare at your book?”

Neil shrugged. Even that would be better than standing below deck pretending he knew what to do with potatoes.

“Look.” Wymack gestured at the sky. “This is a storm. We just have to weather it. If you really want something to do, go learn how to tie knots or something.”

In the time it took to cross to where Kevin was fiercely tying lines down, the wind picked up, and Neil found himself grabbing hold of the railing to keep his balance.

At Kevin’s side was Nicky and Andrew who were tying down the cannons, and when Andrew passed the rope back towards Nicky, Neil was the one to grab it. As they worked, Nicky murmured a prayer under his breath.

“Praying won’t save us, work will,” Seth said as he passed by.

Nicky frowned and looking away, continuing to mouth the words.

Perplexed, Neil asked, “Who are you praying to?”

“St. Erasmus. He’s the patron saint for sailors,” Nicky said. “My parents are kind of religious, but like in a crazy way. There’s the decent types, and then there’s those who aren’t. Me and Renee? I think we’re the good kind, so I always make sure to send up a prayer at times like these." He pointedly did not look at them. "Life is good for me now that I’m not living with my parents. I don’t want to have anything take it away, not even a storm.” He gave Neil a searching look and asked, “What are you trying to keep hold of?”

The clouds which had been building hit with a vengeance, effectively cut off the conversation and the growing discomfort in Neil’s stomach. He wasn’t used to the more serious side of Nicky, and he hadn’t expected it to come out then. It felt strange to be thankful to the storm, but it didn't make facing it any easier.

The wind struck, flinging Neil into Kevin and they would have toppled over the railing if Andrew hadn’t threw his arm out to catch them. Neil shuddered when he realized how close to falling they had been. A man overboard in a storm was as good as a dead man.

With the wind whipping at their clothes and the spray of the waves stinging their cheeks, they made their way to the last of the cannons. Kevin and Nicky took one, and Neil and Andrew took the last as the rain came, pelting them painfully and they raced to finish.

Never before had he faced such intensity at sea and it made his blood race. A laugh bubbled up, begging to be released and Neil clamped it down. To laugh in the face of the storm felt like taunting it, and taunting things bigger and stronger and more unpredictable than him had never gone well.

Finishing the last of the knots with a grunt, Neil caught Andrew’s eye once more. “If a storm like this doesn’t scare you, what does?”

Neil had no answer.

Even with Allison's warning, the total darkness that dropped over the ship was terrifying. It was as if he had been struck blind and only Andrew was visible in his world. Lightning flashed in the clouds, there and gone within a second. The storm raged on, stealing warmth from anyone still on deck.

It was foolish to still be there, but someone needed to assure that nothing came loose in the rocking of the ship. Only he, Andrew, Kevin, and Allison remained in the weather alongside Wymack. Nicky had darted below deck the first chance he had gotten.

Wymack stood at the helm, his compass held tightly in hand. As Neil stumbled closer to him, squinting through the sheets of pouring rain, Wymack slammed it shut. He grabbed the wheel, ship tilting as he turned it into the wind.

Wide eyed beside him, Kevin shouted, “Captain? What are you doing?”

“Too dangerous to try and continue on! We gotta face the storm and hope we don’t topple. The wind will blow us towards Bacchus, we can reorient ourselves there.”

As Neil stumbled up the stairs, words on his lips, loud voices carried by the wind stole his attention away.

Seth, who had come back on deck, was arguing loudly with Allison. He threw his hands up, and in the next flash of lightning an ugly sneer stretched across his face.

“Fine! Then go to her, I’m done!”

Neil had enough time to see the hurt flashing across Allison’s face and then to realize _he could see her face clear as day._

It was horrifyingly beautiful, the way the lightning forked across the darkness of the sky to the ships sturdy railing. There was no time to think or analyze the beauty of nature after that. Stronger than a canon blowing into the side of the ship, it shattered the railing and pieces flew. As he dove down the stairs, head covered by his arms, the sharp tang of blood rose in the air.

A strangled scream rose up, and Seth crumpled, scrabbling at his thigh ineffectively. Skidding on the wet deck, Neil slid to his side. Blood poured from his thigh, and although it was too chaotic to tell what was going on, he knew what would happen before Allison even reached out.

“Don’t!” he hissed, but the warning came too late as she pulled Seth into her arms, dislodging the piece of wood.

There was no point in caution as Seth shuddered and he fainted in her arms. His breaths stuttered, and by the time Neil pulled him from Allison his skin was clammy.

Neil frantically shifted through rough lessons taught long ago. Was shock setting in, or was it the rain?

Mind in overdrive, he knew first they needed to stop the bleeding. Carrying someone in shock was never a good thing- but here in the face of the storm there was nothing else he could do about it. Allison was frozen where she knelt, and Kevin and Andrew too far away to be of much help. Without any other options, Neil attempted to drag him from the wreckage- but Seth was too large and Neil too small to get anywhere on the slick deck.

It was Aaron who appeared to help. Whether he had already been on his way up when the lightning struck or had heard the clap that followed, wasn’t clear. All that mattered was he was there and Neil was infinitely grateful. They carried him below deck and dumped him on a cot in one of the empty cabins.

Together they cut Seth’s pants leg off and Neil inhaled through his teeth. Out in the rain it had been hard to see the damage, but here in the dim light of the room, it became obvious this wasn’t going to be easy. The wood had been large, all that was left was splinters that clung to the torn skin.

Bundling one of the blankets from the bed, Aaron shoved it at Neil. “Put pressure on him, I need my stuff.”

He did what he could, staunching the blood flow with the cloth and gritting his teeth as the smell of it threatened to send him spiraling into darker memories. Aaron rushed back into the room, a small bag in one hand and a bottle of something dark in the other.

Nudging Neil out of the way, he poured the contents of it over the wound and sucking in air through gritted teeth, got to work immediately. Grabbing tweezers from his bag, he began the meticulous task of picking out as many of the wooden splinters. Neil hovered, unsure of what he could do, but it didn’t feel right to leave Aaron alone.

When there was nothing else they could see in the dim lighting, Aaron set about stitching what he could with his needle and silk thread. The hole was too large to sew completely, but even so, Neil was begrudgingly impressed with the precision of his work.

“I don’t have much training in the medical field, but I’ve been learning,” Aaron said, and Neil realized he had been staring.

He wished he had half the knowledge or skill Aaron did. He was capable of sewing his own cuts and changing bandages, but Aaron’s abilities were something he could learn from.

As Aaron worked, he took his time explaining everything he did. The chatter was out of the ordinary for him, as he tended to talk only with his family or Kevin. Neil let him talk through his nerves, soaking up the information for when he would undoubtedly need them next.

“Seth’s lost a lot of blood,” Aaron said with a frustrated sigh. “And there’s always the possibility that I’ve missed some wood.” He wiped his hands on the already ruined blanket with a disgusted expression. “I can’t do much here without the proper tools or lighting.”

By the time Neil made his way back on deck - satisfied that for the second Seth was alive and in capable, if nervous, hands - the storm was in full swing. As soon as he stepped out into the rain, Andrew stepped beside him and Neil ignored his assessing look and jumped the final steps to Wymacks side. “Seth’s alive, but we don’t have half the things needed to keep him that way.”

Wymack looked down at him and then his compass, a pensive look settling over his tired face. “What do you think?”

“How far is Braccus?”

“Another day and a half of sailing. Will he make it?”

Neil shrugged. He didn’t know half the things Aaron knew about the human body.

“I have an old friend there, she’ll help.” Wymack grimaced, turning to face the stinging rain and wailing wind. "I hate to involve her in our mess again so soon, but it can't be helped."

Exhaustion weighed heavily on Neil, but before heading back below deck to rest, he took one last look to the west. It wasn’t where he needed to be, but Neil wasn't a monster. He wasn't his mother. He would not throw away a person's life because it was inconvenient to his plans. Saving Seth would come first, then her. She had made it this long without a magic book, she could last a little longer.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading!! I'm loving all the comments and support I get from y'all ;;;;; thank you and see you soon!!


	7. Dulce Periculum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Seth hasn't died, but needs some help and the Foxes face another predicament because they are Foxes(TM)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello- I am not dead. Close but not there. Why I thought trying to shove two math classes and a chemistry class into a summer schedule would be good I don't know. But the good news is, I had some time to write and get this chapter out for y'all!  
> Thank you Mils, forever the best beta and friend. Ilu so much bean  
> in other news, I just found out that handshakes were originally to make sure the person you were meeting didn't have a weapon??? w i l d  
> Dulce Periculum (Danger is Sweet)

What had happened to Seth should have left Neil more shaken than he was, but a lifetime of death meant injuries were nothing more than a tolerable ache - worry gnawing gently at his bones. If anything, he felt worse about being delayed on his quest than he did Seth’s misfortune. The careful dance the Foxes did around each other became tiptoes as everyone realized death was waiting just outside their door. Even in the dim light afforded by the lamp, it was strikingly easy to see how infected Seth’s leg had gotten in the short hours between midnight and dawn. Aaron threw everyone out of the cabin and when Nicky tried to offer his help, he was given the same disdainful look everyone else had received. Unwisely, Nicky went to Andrew for sympathy.

It was a bad decision from the beginning. He reached for Andrew, calling him back after he turned heel on another argument. Nicky grabbed his wrist and the protest died on his lips as Andrew wrenched away. Pinning Nicky to a wall, his lips pulled into a harsh smile as he casually flicked a knife out of an unknown hiding place. The quiet German he spoke nearly slipped by Neil who had been standing by.

“Do not touch me and don’t ever stop me from leaving again.”

Nicky nodded frantically and Andrew stepped back. The smile was gone and the knife disappeared back into the folds of his clothes. He walked away without another word. 

The delicate balance between the three cousins was a tangled mess none of them bothered to work through and Neil was thankful they would be off their ship before he figured it out. He wished the twins had at least some sort of bond-  enough that it kept Nicky less likely to annoy everyone.  Nicky did what he could to lighten the mood, but he could see he was making things worse between everyone.

In the end, he retreated down the kitchen area to help Renee. Aaro n’s dedication to saving Seth’s life put him on good terms with the rest of the crew, but Andrew’s apathy rubbed everyone the wrong way. Just that morning, he and Matt had almost gotten into an ugly brawl and Wymack had forcibly separated everyone. Neil found refuge in the silence Andrew provided. Unfortunately, Kevin was stuck to him like a shadow, and where Kevin was, so was his complaining. 

“We should use our downtime to practice.”

Neil silently agreed - the hum in his bones that begged to pick up a sword again bothered him, but the mood on deck was somber enough to keep him from acting on it. The ship had been cleaned and patched up the best they could, but until they anchored at the harbor of Bacchus there was nothing that could be done about the gaping hole in the railing. With little else to do, Neil dug out the journal from his satchel. There wasn’t much point in looking over it, he wasn’t going to translate any more until they made it past the arch, but it was as much comfort in his hands as the smell of smoke was. 

Kevin paced beside him, complaining about Neil’s barely passable skills while Andrew sat on the railing, watching the horizon. Neil didn’t trust anyone on the ship - it would be a death sentence to do so - but to be with them was a small blessing. Tension bled from his shoulders, fleeing as he flipped through the journal.

Any and all progress towards relaxation shattered  as he got to the page he had translated last. Quiet shock settled over hi m, the world slowing to a crawl as his mind flitted between the page of encrypted text and his notes.  Sketched in a hurried hand was the cathedral. Tall arches and ivy-covered windows stared back as he tried to come up with a rational explanation of how it got there.

Andrew snapped his fingers in Neil’s face and he flinched,  building his walls back up. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Kevin said, skirting around the table to peek at the book. 

Neil shook his head. How could he explain that his dream was brought to life in front of him and he had no idea how? 

“It’s good, did you draw it?” Kevin asked.

Shaking his head again, Neil stared down at the drawing before catching Andrew’s heavy look.  Closing his book, Neil shoved it  away and refused to look at it again for the rest of the day. 

The days passed slowly with Neil shaking off feelings of unease. There was little else for him to do other than to stay out of everyone’s way. He couldn’t help but feel that everything was his fault despite Seth’s injury having nothing to do with him. 

Thoughts of Lola tugged at him even as he tried to battle his guilt. There was always a crackle in the air when she was near and now that he knew sea witches existed, he wondered if  she was one as well. He could only hope she wasn’t. The only thing keeping him from a complete spiral downwards was the knowledge that even if she wa s, there was no way they would know where he was- and if they did, there was no way he would still be alive. 

In the end, it was Renee’s calm approach to life that kept everyone’s edges from being too jagged. She smoothed them over when Neil and Kevin bickered over everything and nothing and when Seth woke in pain and anger. Between feeling like he needed to earn his place and his nightly practices with Kevin, Neil had to admit despite his wariness for Renee she was a much-needed source of brightness in their lives. The one thing she couldn’t help with was the one thing he refused to talk about. 

Shooting awake after yet another dream - his father stomping down worn steps while Lola laughed quietly in his ear - Neil tumbled out of his hammock. Outside, away from the sounds of those still asleep, he was able to breathe and come back to himself. 

There was a soft sound behind him and without turning, Neil knew who it was. “Go away,” he mumbled, hands gripping his hair as Andrew came to his side. 

“Dreams scare you more than reality?” 

“My dreams are a reality,” Neil said, then paused, surprised at his own answer. 

Andrew stared at him until he looked back to the ocean and the stars. Silence settled over them like a blanket, smoke following as Andrew lit one of his cigarillos. The smell and Andrew’s calm apathy for the situation loosened something deep in Neil’s chest, and before too long, he yawned and when he turned to go back to sleep. Andrew followed and as they  settled down into their respective hammocks, Neil wondered if Andrew followed him outside because Andrew still didn’t trust him. 

It was night when the Foxhole finally docked at Braccus. Watching the sky warily, Neil shivered as the brisk breeze whipped around the crew. It echoed of the storm which had overtaken them and apprehension thrummed in his veins. There had been little warning aside from Alison’s words, and even that hadn’t been enough. She’d been quiet since the ordeal, retreating into Renee’s room more often than not. 

But now she stood near Seth with a grim, determined expression as Wymack called out to the crew. “ “Either you all come with or you all stay on board. We ain’t being here longer than we need too.”

Matt and Aaron carried Seth between them through the town. The fever stole his complaints aside from the occasional moan, and as they skirted buildings and took back alleys dark enough to make Neil’s skin crawl, Nicky lowered his voice to talk to him. 

“Abby is the love of Wymack’s li fe,” he said, “and a lso the only person who is willing to treat well-known pirates.” 

Neil didn’t respond though Nicky’s explanation answered a few of his questions. Abby’s house was a modest one, crushed in between two on either side and completely dark. With little other option, Dan began beating on the door while Matt called out for her.

“Excuse me? Are you looking for Ms. Abby?” 

Whirling as one, the crew squinted against the bright lamplight of the house next door and the woman stepping outside. 

“Obviously,” Andrew replied. 

Shooting him a look of displeasure, Wymack said, “Yes, can you tell us where she is?” 

“She’s not her e. A foreigner in the royal navy has come by the past few days to talk to Ms. Abby. Tonight he came by and got her for the party they’re having in the manor on the hill.” 

Kevin’s breath left him in a shaky laugh and he glanced at Andrew, whose expression didn’t change. 

“Riko?” Neil guessed. When Andrew’s gaze turned to him, Neil waved at the house behind them, “Is this where you went to put your hand back together? It would make sense for him to come see if you were still here-”

“Hush,” Wymack said, no heat in his voice. Neil shut up and stared at Kevin, waiting for him to deny it.

The woman cleared her throat gently. “Why don’t you come to my hous e? I f you have an injured person, standing out in the cold won’t do him any good.” Seeing the hesitation on their faces, she smiled kindly and said, “My name is Katelyn. I’m Abby’s apprentice.”

The Foxes exchanged one last wary glance before filing into her warm home. She helped set Seth up on her couch, leveraging his thigh on a multitude of throw pillows. They would be stained with blood by the end of this, but if Katelyn cared she didn’t show it. Eyeing his wound critically for a few moments, she asked, “Who has been taking care of this?” 

Stepping forward to Seth’s side, Aaron said, “I have.” 

Katelyn nodded. “You did well.” She gestured for him to follow to where she had a basin of clean water and together they cleaned their hands as Aaron relayed what had happened and what he had done to treat Seth. 

Ignoring the way Andrew zeroed in on the two of them, Neil  stepped neatly in his line of sight. “If it really was Riko here, he probably wants information on Kevin.”

“And why do you care?” Andrew asked, flicking his fingers in dismissal.

“I don’t care about Kevin at all.” He ignored Kevin’s irritated glare and continued, “What I do care about is that we can’t leave until Abby gets here to help Seth, and I need this treasure as fast as possible.”

“Why? What can money buy except doctors and nice clothes? You don’t care about clothing, so you must have your own sick person to get home to - if you ever had a home, to begin with.” 

Staring back evenly, Neil kept his mouth shut as the silence built between them. 

Katelyn interrupted their stare off. “You’re not going to be able to get her from the party. You can only get in with an invite and sneaking in would be begging for trouble. With all the naval officers you would be caught as pirates in an instant.” 

“I bet Kevin could get in without a problem,” Allison said, thoughtfully.

Scoffing, Kevin waved a hand to dismiss her words. “And run into Riko or anyone who knew me? No thanks.” 

“We could sneak in,” Neil said, slowly. “Kevin has such a stick up his ass that no one would think twice about seeing him there with all the other stuck up nobles and officers. Allison could probably-”

“I’m not leaving Seth.”

Sighing, Neil said, “I’ll go then.”

Aaron raised an eyebrow ,  “Why you?”

Frustration mounted with every obstacle blocking the way back to his mother. While he wanted nothing more than to leave, he needed t hem- and , with a surprising revelation, he realized they needed him too. “I’m like Kevin,” he said, “I can blend in.”

“Something to share with the class, Josten?” Andrew asked, his gaze steady and unblinking. 

Neil looked back at Kevin. “Will you do it?”

Looking down at his clothes, Kevin quirked an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “I don’t see us getting in looking like this.” 

After a quick cursory look over himself, Neil admitted  he  was right. There was no hope of staying clean on a ship and their clothes were streaked with grime.  He  had a feeling his face was just as dirty and became aware of how bad they all must smell. The need for a bath washed over him with mortifying relentlessness. 

“I can’t offer much, but I know this man will die without Abby,” Katelyn said, “You can wash up outside, at the water pump. My sister has a teenage son, maybe you can fit into his c lothes.”

“They would fit both of us?” Kevin asked doubtfully. 

Katelyn nodded fiercely. “You could make it work, he’s tall and we have some of his old clothes.I live here with them, but they’re gone visiting my parents. His clothes are in his room, while you wash up I’ll grab them for you.” 

Dutifully following Katelyn out of the room, Kevin headed outside to the courtyard where  she had pointed out a pump. Neil realized Wymack and the crew were looking at him expectantly. Warring with himself, he  followed without another word. 

Outside, Kevin had stripped off his shirt and was using it to scrub the dirt from his arms and face. Neil settled down a safe distance away, waiting his turn. 

“There’s room for you,” Kevin said.

“I’ll wait.”

“Neil, we don’t have time for this-”

“He’s hiding ouchies, didn’t you know Kevin?” Andrew interrupted. 

Neil jumped, surprised as always at how quiet  he  could be when he wanted to be. He glared, tucking his legs close.

“No I’m not.”

Kevin stopped washing with a frown and let the water slow. “Explain.”

Shrugging, Andrew looked at Neil. “You just took the stitches out of your shoulder two days ago with Aaron’s scissors. Who did that to you?”

“You were practicing with stitches in?” Kevin asked, and if Neil wasn’t so angry at Andrew he would have snorted at the look on his face. 

“I’m fine,” Neil said, glaring at Andrew. “No one did anything.”

Kevin dropped his shirt and marched up to Neil, who shot to his feet and waited for whatever was going to happen. What he didn’t expect was Kevin to shove a finger in his face. “No. You don’t get to talk about an injury like that. A single instance can ruin your life forever.” 

Neil didn’t miss the way he clenched his hand, scars standing stark white, and he tilted his head. “You think Riko breaking your hand ruined your life? I think you’re better off now than you were before.”

Kevin scoffed and turned away to finish washing. “You would think that. No one wants to kill you.”

“I do,” Andrew quipped from his spot by the door, the cherry glow of his cigarillo casting shadows across his face. 

Rolling his eyes, Neil shoved Kevin out of the way of the water. “You say that and yet you’ve had ample opportunity to do so.” Andrew tilted his head in agreement but said nothing. Neil sighed when Kevin proved unmoveable. “Kevin get the fuck out of here, I need to get clean too.” 

Grumbling, Kevin stalked inside. “Do you want me to watch the door for you? Make sure no one tries to get a sneak peek?”

The words would have been teasing from anyone else, but when Andrew spoke them Neil sensed only sincerity, despite the lack of inflection or care in his tone. Weighing his options, he chose the one that, strangely, made him feel safer. He nodded and waited until  Andrew’s back was turned before stripping out of his clothes and bathing as fast as he could. When he was done, he dressed back in his clothes and grimaced.  Calling Andrew’s name quietly once he was done, together they walked back inside.

Voices came from upstairs and after seeing the foxes still gathered, Neil quietly made his way up. He didn’t need to look back to know Andrew had followed.

Katelyn had an outfit picked out for Neil laying on the bed already when they got to the room. It was nothing so flashy as to stand out in a crowd, but fine enough to blend in with the upper guests with ease. 

Without a word, Andrew went to the dresser and dug out clothes as well. 

“You’re coming too?” Neil asked.

“Don’t ask stupid questions.” 

When at last the three were dressed and cleaned, Wymack eyed them. 

“I don’t like this,” he said, his gaze landing on each of them. “This could be dangerous, but I understand and-” Wymack paused again, before huffing out a rough exhale. “Thank you.”

With nods, they turned  away  and started up the path Katelyn had pointed them down. The entrance to the house was huge and impressive, and Neil hated it on sight. It was too much like his childhood home to dismiss the unbidden thoughts trickling in the back of his mind. 

Lively music swelled louder the closer they crept to the house, and through the window’s flashes of dresses could be seen executing dance after dance.

Neil felt he’d done well at hiding his internal panicking but Kevin’s anxiety rolling off him in waves made it harder. Hidden by trees, Andrew watched the door, a firm hand on Kevin’s jacket, and Neil let his gaze focus on the ground . There was no way Riko could see him and not know who he was. Kevin may not remember Nathaniel - he may not remember their brief, but shared childhood - but Riko was older and he would remember the eight-year-old boy who was stolen in the middle of the night and hidden away by his mother. Riko, if he was truly in there, would not let Neil go if he found him out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we're getting somewhere now -eye emoji- No new magical journal junk this time (or next to be honest) but still a ride!  
> I hope you guys enjoyed!!  
> Leave a comment or a kudo if that's your cup of tea <33


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